7 Things About Love That No One Tells You
There are many uncomfortable truths about life and love that we could talk
about, but we will limit it to 7. That is probably all any person could be
expected to handle in one sitting.
Life is not perfect. Things
don’t always go our way, and sometimes our hearts get broken.
By
Dr. Nikki Martinez
Understanding these seven truths about love will help improve your romantic relationships.
7 Things About Love That No One Tells You
1. Things will not always go your way in life, no matter how you hard you work.
No matter how hard we work, no matter how many extra hours or effort we put in, things will not always go our way.
We may have worked long and hard assuming that things will somehow work out if we just keep going. This is not always the case.
In fact, this is often not the case. Some of the most successful people in this world were epic failures the 1st or 23rd time around. The difference was that they kept picking themselves up and trying new things until they finally achieved what they were trying for.
Imagine if Michael Jordan or Steve Jobs had just given up the first time they stumbled? Imagine a life without Einstein or Franklin. We have many of the necessities, memories, and luxuries because of these people who did not stop when things did not go their way.
The same holds true with love. You can put in tons of effort, and the relationship might still not work out. This could mean it just isn’t the right relationship or the right time for that specific person. It could also mean there is something you need to examine about yourself and the type of partner you are or the type of partner you choose.
2. Sometimes the person you like/love does not feel the same way about you, and your heart will be broken.
As is actually the case more often than not, the person who we like/love does not feel the same about us, or vice versa. Until we meet “the one,” dating will be a series of relationships where one person likes the other person more than the other.
This can lead to hurt and heartbreak, but each relationship teaches us something we can apply to the next one. Sometimes you are on the giving end, and sometimes you are on the receiving end.
It never feels good, but it is the process we all have to go through in our search for the right fit.
3. Life owes us nothing.
We have to work for the things that we want, and even those are not guaranteed.
Be honest, do you walk around thinking that life owes you something? That there are things you are guaranteed just for being you?
Well, sorry to break it to you, but there are no promises. Everyone deserves to be loved, but your path to finding that epic love story may not be easy.
It might be a challenging adventure, and understanding that life works that way sometimes can help you not take it personally. The same concept works with other areas of life, too.
There is no roadmap for riches and success. The best we can do is the best we can do, and hope that this is enough.
If we have a good work ethic, a kind heart, and the right intentions, things just might go our way. In the end, that is all we have control over, and the best that we can do.
4. No matter how much we love each other in the beginning, we do not always end up with happily ever after.
I like to believe that most couples who get married or promise to be together for life, mean it when they say it. Whether it be to each other, or in front of 500 of their closest friends.
Even the couples that everyone thinks will be together forever can have a series of unfortunate events that strip away at the fabric of their relationship.
After years of adversity, animosity, and trying to repair what is now broken, the couple decides they cannot continue on. This has nothing to do with intentions. It is not one party’s fault, but sadly, it is the reality of 50% of couples.
5. You are responsible for you and you alone.
You cannot change anyone else, you can only change how you let them affect you. Many people go through life believing they are going to fix or change others.
Dealing with the reality that in almost all cases, people rarely change the person they are. They may make adjustments and change certain behaviors, but it will be because they want to do so.
Be realistic about what you are getting yourself into, or about the people in your life. The relationships that you hope can change, the lifelong habits that you are sure someone is suddenly going to stop, will not happen.
The only person in this life we are responsible for, or control, is ourselves. So decide how you are going to let people and things impact you. Then close the chapter on the belief that you can control anything else. I promise you will have more peace and calm if you can accept this one fact.
6. Most people are making it up as they go along.
Few people are as together and perfect as they appear.
Most of us are just trying to do the best we can. We get up, shower, try to make ourselves presentable, and go to work. We try to make it through the day with no major catastrophes.
While some people may put off a vibe of self-confidence and togetherness, they are likely just playing the part, too.
Often, they have just perfected it. Think about those social media pictures of perfect people, with their perfect relationship, and their perfect family? This is the presentation that they want you to see of them.
Not that those moments don’t exist, but they do not show a complete picture. Most people only post the best moments of their lives, and not the day-to-day realities. Their lives have challenges too.
They just don’t show us that part. Take solace from this. They are just as imperfect as you! Remember that when you are searching through dating profiles and creating your own.
7. Bad things happen to good people for no reason.
As sad as this lesson is, it is unfortunately true. Bad things happen to good people, and there is no reasonable explanation for it. Little kids get ill, couples who are desperate for children try for years to no avail, and we lose someone we love far too soon.
It is uncomfortable to talk about, and it is a fact of life that no one wants to admit, as they are afraid that they will be affected by it. In their life, they will be touched by someone in their life being dealt a raw deal, no matter how good a person they were.
Because of this sad and uncomfortable truth, I cannot think of a better reason to appreciate those in our lives each day that we have together, good or bad, because at least we have the satisfaction of knowing we loved and appreciated them.
Make the most out of love
Looking at love (and life) through the lens of these seven truths can help you have more meaningful relationships. Cherish the love in your life wherever it comes from. Remember, it is not something the universe owes you.
It is a gift. A gift that requires sacrifice, choices, and effort to keep strong. It might last your lifetime or it might not. Being grateful that you experienced the good things can help you have a different perspective when times are tough.
What are some other things you wish people told you about love? Share your relationship truths with us in the comment section below.