6 Ways To Keep a Healthy Intimate Relationship

Wondering how to keep a relationship healthy? With the right work, you can keep good, healthy intimate connections for the long haul. 

By Earl Lewis

It won’t be easy and requires work and developing skills like self-awareness, facing your fears, and improving communication. Keeping your relationship healthy and intimate means you are honest, both with yourself and your partner.

That type of vulnerability can be challenging, but the end result is worth it.

Here’s how you can help your relationship stand the test of time and remain a source of positivity in your life.

1. Develop self-awareness to keep your relationship healthy

When talking about self-awareness, the focus is on identifying and understanding WHO you are alone, in relationships, and in the world daily. A person who is self-aware knows their wants, needs, and expectations in the relationship.

When a person is self-aware, it means they’ve taken the time to get to know themselves better, which is a big factor for healthy connections. In order to know how to keep a relationship, you have to be aware of yourself first.

2. Learn and understand the patterns in your relationship

There are always developing patterns in a relationship. Some, you and your partner may know, and others fly under the radar.

Learning which patterns are helping your relationship and which are getting in the way can go a long way towards intimacy.

It’s difficult to share intimacy when old habits are getting in the way. Find out what’s causing constant arguments and fights.

Learn what happens when you’re upset, how your partner reacts, and vice versa. Also, learn what helps cool things off in the relationship.

3. Identify any fears of intimacy you have – and address them

Fear of intimacy is one of the biggest effects on relationships. One person or the other doesn’t feel the need to become intimate, which can be a turnoff for the other.

Some questions to ask yourself about intimacy are:

  • “What is getting in my way of being intimate?”
  • “What am I afraid of regarding being intimate with my partner?”
  • Another question to ask is: “How do I define intimacy?”

Addressing that fear head-on takes courage. But if done, can help build, and rebuild intimacy.

how to keep a relationship

4. Let go of expectations

Expectations of how we want to be treated and loved are in all of us. It’s a good idea to identify how you let go of unneeded expectations.

The question to ask is, “what expectations do I have of the relationship that aren’t realistic or too demanding at this point”?

Are you expecting high intimacy but not receiving it during a time when there’s a lot of stress?

Understand what you expect and then recognize what you need regarding intimacy. Focus on letting go of the expected wants and hold on to the needs.

5. Talk openly about having a healthy intimacy level and how to improve it

All couples should find time to talk about healthy intimacy. They can ask:

  • “How important is it to me?”
  • “How do we define intimacy in our relationship?”
  • “How do I help my partner feel we are more intimate?”

Sit down with your partner and talk to them about the topic.

It’s amazing how people say the word intimacy, but lack a clear understanding of what it is and how to improve it. Intimacy should be an area the two of you are trying to improve.

When a couple can become more intimate, they are also vulnerable, which helps bring out honesty, trust, and love.

6. Make time for fun

It’s amazing how couples forget that laughter and fun are so important in how to keep a relationship.

You spend so much time trying to make the other person happy that you forget part of what makes them enjoy the relationship is the laughter and fun involved.

Set out time once a week for a date night when you can have some intimate time alone or with friends.

Perhaps go out to dinner at your favorite restaurant, or make a meal at home. Maybe meet some mutual friends at a concert you all enjoy, or why not invite them over for game night?

You can even decide on a project together where you both create something based on your passion and emotions. Whatever it is, do it together. Use fun as a spark for deeper intimacy and emotional connection.

Any other thoughts or tips on how to keep a relationship happy and healthy?

Relationships can be tricky—but they can also be the best things to happen to us. Healthy, intimate relationships have the power to bring us insurmountable joy and support as we sail through life. The challenge, then, is how to keep it going.