Showing posts from June 9, 2019

How to Become an Emotional Grown-Up

A new book gives concrete tips for young adults who want to succeed without hurting their mental health.

By Sean McGovern

As a college student, I’ve become accustomed to living in a community where success often comes at a high price. From perpetual studying and work-related stress, to larger insecurities surrounding our self-worth and direction, it seems there is no end to the unresolved distress that’s considered “normal” for young people.

This problem might just fly under the radar—if it weren’t for the rising numbers of young adults who are feeling overwhelmed. Clinical psychologist Lara Fielding notes this trend in her new book, Mastering Adulthood: Go Beyond Adulting to Become an Emotional Grown-Up. She understands what we are struggling with, and she takes on the mission of providing us tools to accept our feelings, learn how to work with them, and ultimately grow into healthy and autonomous adults.

Fielding’s book gives an introductory framework for understanding ourselves as emo…

Lessons of Impermanence

"As a palliative care doctor, I spend much of my time face-to-face with pain and suffering, debilitating disease and death. When I began my training, I thought I was comfortable with the idea of mortality, and with the notion that fighting death at all costs wasn't the sole purpose of medicine. But I hadn't expected that the type of medicine I'd chosen to practice would require a strength and perspective that medical training hadn't offered. It was a chance encounter with a sand painting that helped me learn how to doctor patients I knew I would lose." Sunita Puri, author of "That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour" shares more.

Why Every Student Needs Caring Adults in Their Life

A new book argues that caring adult mentors are critical to students’ success in school and in life.

By Tim Klein

Being a public school counselor can feel like barely contained chaos. In the large urban school where I worked, I was constantly interrupted by students in distress, lock-down drills, teachers who needed support, and parents seeking guidance. I often joked that the position was giving me Attention Deficit Disorder.

However, there was one predictable part of my day: when “Ben,” a 12th grade Haitian student, would come into my room to “post up” during fourth period. Every day, Ben made himself at home in my office, shot jumpers on the door-mounted basketball hoop, played me his favorite songs on Spotify, and lamented the Boston Celtics performance the night before. Rain or shine, he never missed a visit.

In my office, Ben was charismatic, kind, and possessing a sense of humor beyond his 20 years. But outside of my office, he was often in trouble, cutting classes, getting into a…

What Being a Stepfather Taught Me About Love

Jeremy Adam Smith has learned some difficult lessons from his stepchild—and he's grateful for them.

By Jeremy Adam Smith

I first met Alex when they were about eight years old. Back then, their mother—my partner, Michelle—called Alex her son. Shortly after turning 13, Alex informed us that they weren’t a boy. They weren’t a girl either; they came to describe themselves as non-binary.

It’s taken a little while for Michelle, me, and my son—Alex’s stepsibling—to wrap our heads around this change in identity and pronouns, but slowly and steadily, we’re learning what it means to be transgender and non-binary. Alex is teaching us. Alex has taught me a lot of things. Many of the lessons have been difficult ones.

It’s always been easy for me to raise my son, Liko. He and I have moved through our respective stages of development in tandem with each other, riding a two-seat bicycle along the same path. As he has advanced through adolescence, Liko has become more like me, which helps me to see m…

In Which the River Makes Off with Three Stationery Characters

The river beckons the lumberjacking beaver and spawning chinook salmon to capture its currents, to countervail its flow. Befurred and befinned they dance to its gurgling song but do not yield to the flow, living for their time as dissenters, laboring at cross-purposes against currents as frantically stationary characters in their water world - "there is music that will dissolve your anchors, your sanctuaries, floating you off your feet, fetching you away with itself... until it spills you into a place whose dimensions make nonsense of your heretofore extraordinary spatial intelligence." In the life and tides of the river, only the reflection of the moon remains constant, bobbing along to its own celestial tune. In this delightful essay from The Iowa Review, Amy Leach captures the eternal rhythms of an ancient, aquatic serenade.

How to Teach Siblings to Resolve Their Own Arguments

Parents can try to act as mediators when children fight—not referees.

By Steve Calechman

It’s the most glorious sound—your two young children laughing and playing. You can just sit, in an entirely different room, uninterrupted, and revel in your otherworldly parenting skills. But then the dream ends. There’s a thud, a shout of “Mine!,” maybe a “Stop!”; you can’t be sure because it’s muffled by some crying. A child, most likely the younger, calls, “Daddy, help me!”

You face a decision. You could go in and fix the situation, but a similar battle would pop up in no more than six minutes, and you’d be called back to referee. You’ll always be called back to referee. You want to retire from that job. What you want and need is for your kids to be able to work out their stuff on their own.

It’s a great goal, and a useful one, because conflict within families cannot and should not be eliminated. “The sibling relationship is where you learn how to fight,” says Corinna Tucker, professor of human de…

Free Trip to Egypt

Seeking to build a bridge of mutual understanding and friendship, a Canadian-Egyptian entrepreneur living in Switzerland decides to reach out to the very people who fear him. He travels across the United States to find Americans concerned about an Islamic threat and makes them an intriguing offer: a Free Trip to Egypt.

When You Should Help Your Coworkers—and When to Think Twice

Research offers some guidance on how to be more helpful at work—for everyone’s benefit.

By Shanna B. Tiayon

When was the last time you helped a colleague at work?

Helping in the workplace can take various forms—for example, training an intern, comforting a colleague in distress, or taking on extra work to complete a team project.

If your organization has a competitive work culture—or if you’re anything like the 35 percent of working Americans who feel overwhelmed by their workload—helping others in the workplace may not be at the top of your priority list. However, research suggests that more helpful workplaces actually perform better; they produce better-quality products and have increased sales. And helping others at work feels good.

If you can’t recall the last time you lent a hand to a coworker, the three questions below may help you start thinking about your interactions at work and how you could be of more service to others in the workplace.

1. When are you most likely to help others…

Helping Hospitals Discover the Person Within the Patient

"Bob Hall was recovering from yet another surgery when the volunteer first walked into his hospital room. It was March 2014, and unfortunately Hall had been in and out of the hospital quite a bit. It had been a rocky recovery since his lung transplant, three months earlier, at the William S. Middleton Memorial Veterans Hospital in Madison, WI. But the volunteer wasn't there to check on his lungs or breathing. Instead she asked Hall if we wanted to tell his life story." This story from NPR shares more.

Natural Sleep Aids That Actually Work

1/15 Alternatives to MedicationIf you’re among the nearly half of Americans who sometimes have trouble with sleep, you may be interested in how to slide into slumber without drugs. Herbal teas, tinctures, and other supplements may help. But talk to your doctor first. Even natural sleep aids can cause side effects or interfere with how your medicines work. And the FDA doesn’t check supplements for safety or quality. So know exactly what you’re taking. Swipe to advance 2/15 MelatoninThis hormone tells your body when to sleep and wake. Some research suggests that melatonin supplements can ease sleep issues like jet lag and trouble falling or staying asleep. For the most part, melatonin is safe for healthy adults if taken for only a few weeks or months. Side effects include headache, dizziness, and nausea. Try taking 1-3 milligrams 2 hours before bed. Swipe to advance 3/15 LavenderTry sniffing this purple flower before your bedtime. Its scent slows your heart rate and lowers your blood pressure …