Showing posts from February 12, 2017

Are You Having Enough Sex?

By   Kira M. Newman   Recent research sheds light on a question that obsesses many people. When it comes to sex, we’re quick to gobble up statistics that tell us   how much the average person has . Since it’s too taboo to ask anyone in real life, this is the next best way to find out: How does my sex life stack up against everyone else’s? But these statistics paint a crude picture at best, obscuring much of what’s going on below the surface. If couples have sex an average of twice a week, some are dragging down the average with chastity while others are pumping it up with daily shagging. In addition, the averages tell you nothing about quality, or causality, pointing to a chicken-and-egg problem: Does positive feeling lead to more and better sex, or does the influence go the other way? As much as the general public is obsessed with sex and what constitutes enough of it, researchers, too, are actively exploring these areas. They, however, are not shy—and they’ll ask anyone a

What You Can Learn from Polyamory

By   Elisabeth Sheff A 20-year study of consensually non-monogamous adults reveals seven lessons for anyone who wants to keep love alive. Do you hope to love one person for the rest of your life? As romantic as that goal may sound, not everyone shares it. With economic, social, and health changes leading to much longer lifespans—and more control over fertility and childbearing—our attitudes towards monogamy have changed significantly. Divorce has become commonplace, and many people have embraced serial monogamy, forming one relationship at a time, falling in love and splitting up, and then doing it all over again. But there’s an alternative:   polyamory , a form of consensual non-monogamy that emphasizes emotional and sexual intimacy with multiple partners simultaneously, ideally with the knowledge of all parties involved. I   studied polyamorous families   with children for a period of 20 years, and I discovered their relationships can be intense, complicated—and fulf

Inspirational Quote – February 18, 2017

“You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you.” Very true. If we don’t love ourselves and don’t value what makes and shapes us and our beliefs, then why should anybody else? Like a little pot plant where we are the seed, the root, the stem growing upwards, we are nourished in the earth (love) surrounding us so we push upwards, growing and striving towards the light. Our self-love continues to nourish and encourage us so we sprout leaves and branches representing the people, the situations, the choices we make, in life. This all stemmed from, and also only became possible, by the nourishment of earth/love for ourselves. How powerful are we?

In the Midst of Winter an Invincible Summer

"In spite of all of our care and precaution, life is unpredictable and subject to change. Our sense of security and control is mostly an illusion. No matter how hard we try to be safe and achieve and become someone in this world, life is uncertainty, and we are wavering creatures. There will be unexpected changes at the last moment. There will be loss." And, yet, in these times of loss, author Tracy Cochran discovers we can find moments of illumination when we are: "being attentive, being willing to go on seeing and keeping our hearts open not just for our sake but for the sake of others. We make ourselves available to life, opening our hearts to the passing flow of it, knowing we will blunder and get it wrong but sometimes right. We do this even knowing that those hearts will inevitably break because life is uncertainty and change and loss. But sometimes when we are open, light floods the darkest chamber."

Why You Need More Nature in Your Life

By   Jill Suttie Research suggests that spending too little time in nature deprives us of benefits to our health, happiness, and creativity. I’m a nature lover—there’s no doubt about it. Hiking is one of the great joys of my life and a surefire way to make me feel calmer and happier. But I’m not spending as much time outside as I’d like to, and I’m probably not alone in this. Since 2008,   more than half of the world’s population has been living in urban settings ; and, according to a   Pew Research Center report , Internet use is way up, with almost 21 percent of Americans saying they spend time online “almost constantly.” These factors probably contribute to “ nature deficit disorder ” in me and other urban dwellers; but should I be worried? According to journalist Florence Williams, the answer is a definitive   yes . In her new book,   The Nature Fix , she chronicles the research showing our intricate connection to the natural world and nature’s impact on our health,