3 Ways to Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart
It can be discouraging to keep going when your dreams are crashing
around you. The power of dreams, though, is that they can extend beyond
wishes of self-improvement—their goal should be to contribute to the world around you.
By AJ Duke
It’s human nature. I’m sure that during the course of over 300 bank rejections, Walt Disney had days when he felt like giving up. But he didn’t. He kept going. Why? It was because his dream went far beyond himself.
Here’s how YOU can keep going—even if it feels like your dreams are falling apart.
3 Ways to Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart
1. Remember The “Why”
Often, I find dreams extend far beyond the simple purpose of making one happy. For example, being a songwriter in and of itself does not make me feel happy and fulfilled. Imagine if my life’s work was to write songs that no one would ever hear. That doesn’t elicit any feelings of happiness or fulfillment (at least to me).
Seeing and hearing the healing effects that come from the songs I create for others to hear? Now you’re talking. Healing and helping others is the part of my dream that keeps it alive. It gives me purpose in this world that goes far beyond myself and my skills.
Think of the character Ebenezer Scrooge from Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”. Scrooge’s goal in life was to have money—and lots of it. He set aside love and relationships for that dream. The result was a lonely, cold, and bitter old man.
I won’t ruin the whole story for the very few of you that may not have heard it. In the end, Scrooge discovered that what brought him fulfillment and happiness were community and generosity.
So what is the “why” to your dream? How is your dream going to affect those around you? Get beyond yourself. As many have said, YOU are your biggest obstacle to success.
2. Take Off The Rose-Colored Glasses
You know what I’m talking about. The “I’m going to make it big” and “I’m going to be famous/rich/etc.” I hate to take a pointy, realistic needle to your big ideas, but I’m doing it out of love. Here it is:
Your dream will not look exactly how you pictured it.
Take a minute to take that one in. Still here? Yes. Alive? Yes. Not Bleeding? No? Hurt a bit?
It’s OK. I know. I’ve been there. Dreams are vulnerable. We spend countless hours imagining what it would be like and how we will get there. But the truth is, in my experience, they have never turned out exactly how I have imagined. Why? We live in a world of people and circumstances that we can’t control.
Here is where the “why” comes in. The beautiful thing is that your works directly result from your heart’s intention… and what you put out into the world never comes back void. Here’s an example:
As a singer-songwriter, the common idea of “making it big” for my line of work is to have a hit song or perform in front of a sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden (I’m more inclined towards Red Rock Amphitheatre, but you get the picture).
Let’s say that I work and strive tirelessly to do everything I need to do to reach that goal. I release a song; go on tour around the US, develop a large following, get on the radio, etc. Along the way, I hear stories of how this song has affected the people who have heard it. Stories describing how it brought healing, encouragement, and hope.
To go further, what if I never even make it that far? Maybe circumstances happen and I can’t tour? What if everything “falls apart”? Will I end up playing at open mics for the rest of my life? What if it doesn’t happen in the next year? Two years?
Does that change the fact that my song helped heal and open the heart of a broken and depressed Vietnam Vet? Or how it helped encourage an author to keep going and writing? Or how my song started a conversation on how to look past the labels overshadowing soldiers and their families?
It’s all about your perspective on success, my friend. To me, because my “why” and my heart’s intention are to help people, those stories above are my version of success. It’s what keeps me going. If I get to Madison Square Garden (or Red Rocks), well, that’s just icing on top of the cake.
3. Make Your Dream Your Job
No, I don’t mean quit your job and have no income while you work on your dream. That’s an entirely different article (and completely up to you). I’m talking about treating your dream like it is your job.
For example, if you completely failed at a presentation at work, would you just quit and not go the next day? No! You have a livelihood and an expectation to show up. So why quit on your dream at the first sign of failure?
Treat your dream like your job. Therefore, make a plan, show up every day, and understand that it may take a while to see any results. I know many songwriters who wrote hundreds of songs before they wrote a hit. However, they never would have reached it if they didn’t take that first step, made a commitment, and wrote 100 songs first.
Dreams don’t just happen. They take work. So, go get started!
Keep going. You will be glad you did.
My best advice under this theme is to check out the book “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. It is by far the best resource I have discovered in my journey of living out my dream.
Here’s the deal. With every goal that I have set and achieved, I never sat at the end and thought to myself, “man, look at what I did”. Believe it or not, I was more overwhelmed with the thoughts of the journey that I had to take to get there – the good and the bad.
I would admire and laugh at the unexpected things that came. I would smile and enjoy the character it built, the person who I became in the process. In the end, the best thing about dreams and goals isn’t their achievement, but the journey that you take to get there.
So, never forget that the dream in your heart was put there for a reason. You were made to impact this world.
Keep going on your dream. Make a plan, and in the words of .38 Special, “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go.” Roll with the punches and understand that even greater things can come when things don’t go according to your plan.
Enjoy the journey and never, ever give up. Keep going.