Sometimes Love Means Saying Goodbye
Yesterday I said goodbye to my companion for the last 5 years. She came into my life exactly when I needed her and truly saved my life.
Lady was a rescue dog and was two days from being euthanized when I adopted her. At the time she was grossly under weight and was infected with a sever case of heartworms.
We were able to treat the heartworms, although it did take a told on her. The drugs are much like chemotherapy, I was told. After her treatments, she had breathing problems and was placed on daily does of a bronchial dilator.
A year and a half ago, during her semi-annual checkup, she was diagnosed with liver cancer. I went ahead with surgery to remove it. The surgery was successful and she made a full recovery.
A month or so after the surgery, she when blind in her right eye from Glaucoma. It was infected and she had surgery to remove it. Again her surgery when well and she was able to adapt to life with one eye.
A few months ago I noticed she was not walking well and was bumping into walls a lot. I had her eye pressure checked to make sure Glaucoma was not the problem. Her eye was normal, however, they discovered a mass on her liver again and she showed sign of neurological problems.
Unable to afford another round of tests and surgery, and knowing she would not do well this time, I took her home. Our mobile Vet put her on some strong pain killers, meant for short term only.
Yesterday, when our Vet came to the house, she came out to visit and laid down in the hallway as if to say "I know it's time and I've been waiting for you".
Lady's life ended peacefully.
The hard part for me was saying goodbye to my companion of 5 years. I am retired and we spent all day together. At the end, I spent countless hours with her outdoors while she marshalled the strength to stand up and do her business.
Now I'm lost and have to find a new way in life. I feel guilty for being mad at her for taking so long and not listening. Yet I knew these moments were precious and time was drawing near.
She will be missed.
We were able to treat the heartworms, although it did take a told on her. The drugs are much like chemotherapy, I was told. After her treatments, she had breathing problems and was placed on daily does of a bronchial dilator.
A year and a half ago, during her semi-annual checkup, she was diagnosed with liver cancer. I went ahead with surgery to remove it. The surgery was successful and she made a full recovery.
A month or so after the surgery, she when blind in her right eye from Glaucoma. It was infected and she had surgery to remove it. Again her surgery when well and she was able to adapt to life with one eye.
A few months ago I noticed she was not walking well and was bumping into walls a lot. I had her eye pressure checked to make sure Glaucoma was not the problem. Her eye was normal, however, they discovered a mass on her liver again and she showed sign of neurological problems.
Unable to afford another round of tests and surgery, and knowing she would not do well this time, I took her home. Our mobile Vet put her on some strong pain killers, meant for short term only.
Yesterday, when our Vet came to the house, she came out to visit and laid down in the hallway as if to say "I know it's time and I've been waiting for you".
Lady's life ended peacefully.
Now I'm lost and have to find a new way in life. I feel guilty for being mad at her for taking so long and not listening. Yet I knew these moments were precious and time was drawing near.
She will be missed.