The Outer Child and Your Self-Esteem by Susan Anderson

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship in your life. It is the template upon which all your other relationships are built, the source of your self-esteem, and the driving force behind your choices and behaviors. It’s the very foundation of your psychological functioning. Whether or not we realize it, we’ve been trying to improve the relationship we have with ourselves all our lives—often not very effectively.

The way you feel about yourself affects the way you relate to other people. This in turn affects the way they view you.

I have a desire to show off my talents, but I’m so inhibited, nobody knows what I’ve got inside.

No two people feel the same way about themselves. You developed the way you feel through many experiences, especially interactions with other people—your parents, peers, teachers, and significant others. You strove to live up to what they expected of you and unwittingly absorbed the way they responded to you—their affection, disapproval, esteem, acceptance, rejection, criticism, and indifference. You measured your worth against certain standards you came to believe ...

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