Saturday, June 9, 2012

Why Do We Do Stupid Things

Seems all of us at one time or another does something that embarrasses us, hurt people and hurt ourselves.  Just think back to your first date or even further back when we got caught with our hand in the cookie jar.  Okay, maybe not so long ago for some!

Are we ignorant, confused or na├»ve?  Well maybe yes, but boundaries are set either by us of by other people to let us know what acceptable behavior is.  And how do we really know where these boundaries are unless we test them? 

A child is told he is grounded and must stay in the house at all times.  So why do they sneak out to play with their friends?  After learning where the boundaries are, usually by a harsh reality, the child grows and learns to accept consequences.  Some of us learn hard lessons along the way.

With more compelling force, a drug addict or alcoholic continues to abuse, even though they know the consequences.  The lucky ones get help and have family and friends to keep them on track.  Most, however, live all their lives fighting daemons only to succumb to the peace of death, hurting everyone alone the way.

Now add love to the picture and we get even more powerful forces to be dealt with.  After all, love is the most powerful force in the universe.  How may stupid things have you done when love was involved?  Add all the different types of love with the lesser forces and I sometimes wonder how we ever get anything right.  When love is involved, we take our fears and insecurities and can justify almost any action.  We amplify minor events, expressions or read some information and let our imaginations go while.

Love of a child – we do stupid things to protect them, only if in our own mind.  Love of a sibling – we do stupid things and even hurt then intentionally in our awkward with of expressing our feelings.  Love of a spouse – we do stupid things to proclaim our love and somehow expect something great in return.  Love of a friend – we do stupid things to express the love, sometimes in inappropriate ways. 

We all need boundaries to contain our lives and guide us in the right direction.  We need to test the boundaries so we know exactly where they are.

So to all the people, past, present and yes future, I apologize from the bottom of my heart for all my stupid actions.  I’m only human, but as a human, it’s my responsibility to learn where the boundaries are.