tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79840834789829360672024-03-19T04:48:43.525-04:00This is Joe's WorldOff-beat perceptions and life tips of the world and all its players.
Keep it clean, keep it honest and as a great friend told me, keep swimming!
Posting articles here is my hobby. No advertisements on this page, although linked pages may have some. No copyright infringement intended. The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comBlogger9926125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-56810186808670061082023-10-22T08:45:00.003-04:002023-10-22T08:45:41.653-04:00Other People May Not Be the Solution to Loneliness<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
A new study finds that people feeling very lonely are not necessarily
comforted by company.<br /><br />If you’re feeling lonely, the natural thing
to do might be to seek out company: to call a friend or say yes to a
hangout.<br /><br />But, counterintuitively, a <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-023-00661-3">new study</a> finds that if we’re very lonely, being around other people may not actually help us feel any better. <br /><br />By <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/kira_newman" target="_blank">Kira M. Newman</a></span>
</p><hr />
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Degrees of loneliness</span></h2>
<div class="article-image alignleft" style="width: 300px;">
<span style="font-family: arial;"><img alt="" src="https://ggsc.s3.amazonaws.com/images/made/images/uploads/Other_People_May_Not_Be_the_Solution_to_Loneliness_300_200_int_c1-1x.jpg" /></span>
</div>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Across three studies, researchers surveyed over 3,000 people in Germany and
the U.K. about their daily experiences. In one study, people recalled events
from the day before; in the other studies, people received pings by phone up
to seven times a day and filled out mini-surveys about what they were doing
and how they were feeling in the past hour.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
In each, the researchers found that people who felt lonelier had lower
well-being in that moment (in terms of the kinds of emotions they were
feeling, like happiness, anger, sadness, and boredom, as well as their sense
of satisfaction and meaning). That wasn’t surprising.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
What was surprising is that this pattern was even stronger when people were in
a social situation, when we might expect to be protected from the pain of
loneliness.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“Simply spending time with others . . . may even backfire,” write researchers
Olga Stavrova and Dongning Ren of Tilburg University in the Netherlands.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Here’s another way to look at the findings: On average, people felt better
when they were with others. But that wasn’t the case for people feeling very
lonely, who either felt the same or worse when they were around other humans.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">The burden of loneliness</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Why? The third study, conducted five months into the COVID-19 pandemic,
suggested two reasons why being around others might not comfort us when we’re
feeling lonely.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
First, people feeling lonely had a greater desire to be alone—and the more
they wanted solitude, the worse they felt, especially when they were in a
social situation.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“The presence of others or having to engage in social interactions under these
circumstances might feel particularly burdensome and aggravate the unpleasant
feeling of loneliness,” write Stavrova and Ren.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
On top of that, people feeling lonelier had more negative social interactions,
which also seemed to contribute to how bad they felt. When we’re lonely, the
researchers explain, we may act in ways that make socializing less fulfilling
than it could be.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“Loneliness predisposes people to approach social interactions with cynicism,
distrust, and an expectation of rejection and betrayal [which] might in turn
negatively affect other people’s behavior towards them,” write Stavrova and
Ren.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“Loneliness might make it harder to establish a true sense of connection with
others. Having to socialize with others without achieving a sense of
connection might feel particularly draining and meaningless, damaging one’s
psychological well-being.”
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Find a way that works for you</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Does this mean that social interaction can’t help the lonely?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Certainly not. This study included all kinds of social interaction, from
having a conversation with a friend to simply being in line at a grocery
store. It’s possible that certain types of social interactions are helpful
when we’re lonely—like getting emotional support from a trusted confidant—and
others are not.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
We also shouldn’t discount the value of solitude. If lonely people need some
time alone to cope and feel better, there’s nothing wrong with that. “Research
on solitude suggests that being alone can be functional, allowing individuals
to regulate their emotions,” write Stavrova and Ren.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Overall, this study is a good reminder of how complex loneliness is; it’s more
of a state of mind than a simple indicator of how many connections we have.
The triggers for loneliness change
<a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_loneliness_changes_across_your_lifetime">across our lifetime</a>, and it can’t be easily solved by getting out of the house.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
In fact, a
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868310377394">review of studies</a> found
that the best strategy might be to teach ourselves to question our automatic
negative thoughts, like blaming ourselves for feeling bad or thinking that no
one wants to be our friend.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Hopefully, all this can help us be a bit more understanding to others when
they suffer from loneliness, and to ourselves, as well.
</span></p>
<p></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-10720401863269033562023-10-22T08:41:00.001-04:002023-10-22T08:41:08.294-04:00The Art of Paying Attention<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
"In an invitation to slow down and look at the world around you, graphic
journalist Wendy MacNaughton illustrates how drawing can spark deeply human,
authentic connections. Ready to try? Grab a pencil and join MacNaughton for
this delightful talk. "Drawing is looking, and looking is loving," she says."
</span></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="330" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/p5IuRLOer6E" width="550" youtube-src-id="p5IuRLOer6E"></iframe></span>
</div>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
All right, I'm going to go out on a limb here. I'm going to say that
every single one of us in this room made drawings when we were
little. Yes? Yes? OK. And maybe around the age of like, four or
five or something like that, you might have been drawing, and a
grown-up came over and looked over your shoulder and said, "What's
that?" And you said, "It's a face." And they said, "That's not
really what a face looks like. This is what a face looks like." And
they proceeded to draw this. Circle, two almonds for some eyes, this
upside-down seven situation we have here, and then a curved
line. But guess what? This doesn't really look that much like a
face, OK? It's an icon. It's visual shorthand, and it's how we
look at so much of our world today.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
See, we have so much information coming at us all the time, that our
brains literally can't process it, and we fill in the world with
patterns. Much of what we see is our own expectations.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
All right. I'm going to show you a little trick to rewire your brain
into looking again. Did you all get an envelope that says "do not open"
on it? Grab that envelope, it's time to open it. Inside should be a
piece of paper and a pencil. Once you have that all prepped, please
turn to somebody next to you. Ideally, somebody you don't
know. Yeah, we're doing this, people, we're doing this.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">(Laughs)</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Great. Everybody find a partner? OK, now look back at me. OK,
now look back at me. You are going to draw each other, OK? No, no,
no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. I promise this is not about doing a good
drawing, OK? That's not what we're doing here, we're looking, this
is about looking. Everybody's going to be terrible, I promise, don't
worry. You're going to draw each other with two very simple
rules. One, you are never going to lift your pencil up off the
paper. One continuous line. No, no, trust me here. This is
about looking, OK? So one continuous line never lift the
pencil. Number two, never, ever, ever look down at the paper you're
drawing on, OK? Yes, it's about looking. So keep looking at the
person you're drawing. Now put your pencil down in the middle of the
paper, OK? Look up at your partner. Look at the inside of one of
their eyes. Doesn't matter which one. That's where you're going to
start. Ready? Deep breath. (Inhales) And begin.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Now, just draw but notice where you are, you're starting there and you
see there is a corner, maybe there's a curve there. Notice those
little lines, the eyelashes. People are wearing masks, some aren't, just
work with that. Now just go slow. Pay attention and draw what you
see. And don't look down. Just keep going. (Murmuring) And
just five more seconds. And stop. Look down at your beautiful
drawings.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">(Laughter)</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Right? Show your partner their incredible portrait. It's so good,
right? I want to see them. Hold them up. Can you guys hold them
up? Hold up, everybody. Oh my gosh. Are you kidding
me? You all are amazing. OK, you can put your drawings back
down, tuck them under, put them on the paper.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
That was wonderful. I mean, they're all terrible, but they're
wonderful. Why are they wonderful? Because you all just drew a
face. You drew what you saw. You didn't draw what you think a face
looks like, right? You also just did something that people rarely
do. You just made intimate eye-to-eye, face-to-face contact with
someone without shying away for almost a minute. Through drawing,
you slowed down, you paid attention, you looked closely at
someone and you let them look closely at you. Good job. I have
found that drawing like this creates an immediate connection like nothing
else. Alright.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
So I call myself an illustrator and a graphic journalist. I draw, I tell
stories. I spend time with people looking and listening. And I take
the words of the people that I speak with and I put it together with
drawings that I do, mostly from life, just like you all just did. I
found that drawing like this does a lot of things that photography can't
do. So when somebody points a camera at you, how do you feel? A
little objectified, right? When I'm drawing, I hold my sketchbook
low and it keeps an open channel between me and the person I'm
drawing. A lot of time somebody will see me drawing and they'll get
curious. They'll come over to me, and a real, authentic conversation
begins.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Let me give you an example. So a while back, I wanted to do a drawn
story about how the public library serves our elders. But after
spending a few days kind of lurking around with a sketch pad, looking
over older folks' shoulders and asking them what they were reading, I
wasn't really getting the story. Until I stumbled upon Leah. Leah is
the first, and at the time was the only, full-time social
worker dedicated to a library in the nation. Turns out, public
library definitely serves our elders. It is also a social service
epicenter of a city. This is Charles. Charles works with
Leah. And he does outreach within the library to folks who are
experiencing homelessness. And he took me around, I carried my
sketch pad and I was drawing everything I saw, and he showed me a very
different library than I'd previously seen.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
So computers that I assumed were for checking-out books, or, you know,
looking at emails, were in fact a lifeline for folks who are searching
for jobs and housing. The sinks in the public restroom, they are a
laundromat and showers for folks who are sleeping on the street. A
library is a safe, quiet place where anybody can go and find
resources and rest for free. See, the moment I stopped looking for
the story that I expected to see, an entirely new and richer truth was
revealed. I found this to be true with everything and everyone I've ever
drawn.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
OK, so I draw from life, right, like you guys did. And so I built myself
a mobile studio in the back of a swanky Honda Element -- So that I
could go anywhere, talk to anyone at any time and then draw and paint and
sleep in the back. It is very cozy.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
I was on the road in Utah, drawing and talking to people, when I
spotted on the side of the road a hand-painted wooden sign. It said
"Bootmaker." I stopped. A tall, white, handlebar mustached man
wearing a cowboy shirt, opened the door and found me, a
sketchbook-carrying, jumpsuit-wearing, urban, lefty lesbian, smiling
like, waving like a dork.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">(Laughter)</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
When I spotted the stuffed cougar on the wall behind him, this vegetarian
thought she knew all she needed to know about Don the bootmaker. But
there we were. So I asked him if he'd just show me quickly a little bit
about his craft. He agreed. And we ended up spending the whole day
together, as I drew out Don in his workshop, and he told me about
the sudden death of his beloved wife, about his deep, deep
grief, and about this hunting trip that he was planning, and so
looking forward to taking with his son. Every tool in that shop held a
story. And he was so, so happy to share it with somebody who was
genuinely curious and interested. By the end of the day, Don and I
looked very different to one another. And this drawing, which ended
up in my visual column in the New York Times or as Don likes to call it,
the fake-news media --
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">(Laughter)</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">now hangs framed on the wall of his big game trophy room.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
So I was getting ready to start on a new drawn story when the pandemic
hit. And overnight I was, like so many people, just unable to do my
job. It was my own mother who suggested that I teach drawing to
kids. Kids who were about to lose their routines, be stuck at
home, and to help give parents a much needed short break. Now I'm
trained as a social worker, but I'd never taught kids before. But
the night before school closures in San Francisco, I went on
Instagram and announced that the next day we'd try something called
DrawTogether. 10 am. I sat behind my drawing table in my home
studio and my wonderful wife pointed an iPhone at me and pressed "Go
live." And what I thought would be 100 kids, ended up being
12,000. All eager to draw a dog. The next day, 14,000 kids
came and we drew a tree, and that drawing exercise that you all just
did. What was supposed to be five minutes for five days, ended up
being 30 minutes a day, five days a week, for months. And yeah,
we talked about line and shape and we learned about perspective and
light and shadow. But what was really going on was we were actively
looking our way through a global catastrophe together.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
See, drawing slows us down. It keeps our hands moving so we can pay
attention to things that we usually overlook or that we
ignore. Studies show that drawing is one of the most effective
ways for kids to process their emotions, and that includes
trauma. It helps us talk about hard things. We say something in
DrawTogether, it sounds hokey, but it is true. Drawing is
looking and looking is loving. If we can give kids the right
supportive environment, drawing helps them let go of perfectionism and
fear of failure so that they, unlike you and me, and especially
those of us who might have freaked out just a wee bit when I said earlier
we were going to draw, right? We can let go of these harder
self-judgments so we don't have to undo them later in life.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
OK, I don't expect you all to become drawers. But I do know that all of
us, kids, grownups, everyone in this room, we can all be better at
looking. Because this is not a face. And when we live like this
drawing, we miss out on all of the depth and detail of the world and
people around us. This is a face. And this is a face. And that
is such a face. (Laughs) And these are faces. And if you slow
down, I promise, pay attention and really look. You will fall back
in love with the world and everyone in it. And after the past few years
we've had, I think we all desperately need a chance to look closely at
one another and at ourselves, and tell the real truth about what we
see.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /> </span></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-4656892689345300042023-08-12T13:12:00.002-04:002023-08-12T13:12:18.010-04:00Four Types of Work Friendship (And Which One Is Best for You)<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Should you be friends with your coworkers? Here's how to navigate the benefits
and pitfalls of friendship in the workplace.<br /><br />In my teens and
twenties, I didn’t think much about how important it was to like the people I
worked with. At the time, I was working as a waiter at a Toronto diner and
being friends with my colleagues was part of the experience.<br /><br />By
<a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/stephen_friedman" target="_blank">Stephen Friedman</a></span>
</p><hr />
<p>
</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2NsM3FDdidwBxEwR-68CCF8EiGIkVJGsgDf95KavT41SHXBVi5BNKkKxyCgX-UypZVcIBQZ_qlUW5ifE7kGou9HSLpEGVlbElIus6CyNRMBA995bU-dxox21vEUYzJzP8kTUSCFlNMplrBDQFoRGzShefpEib2Ah551nyJKbakuqL-ZIrYu-WSeJKXw/s350/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="350" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2NsM3FDdidwBxEwR-68CCF8EiGIkVJGsgDf95KavT41SHXBVi5BNKkKxyCgX-UypZVcIBQZ_qlUW5ifE7kGou9HSLpEGVlbElIus6CyNRMBA995bU-dxox21vEUYzJzP8kTUSCFlNMplrBDQFoRGzShefpEib2Ah551nyJKbakuqL-ZIrYu-WSeJKXw/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">But once I became a university professor and an executive educator, I realized
the importance of workplace relationships. I now know that
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/0033-3352.00172">workplaces function better</a>
when colleagues have good relationships with one another.
</span><p></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
These findings conflict with a common sentiment I’ve noticed in my 20-plus
years of working with employees: believing it isn’t necessary to be friends
with your colleagues. While this viewpoint is understandable, it isn’t
useful—especially when it comes to working alongside individuals you don’t get
along with.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Types of work friendships</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
About 30% of North Americans
<a href="https://doi.org/10.33423/jop.v19i5.2517">say they have a best friend at work</a>. The rest report having regular work friends.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
It’s useful to differentiate between different types of friendships, as not
all relationships offer the same advantages. By specifying friendship types,
and understanding the benefits of each, we can make informed decisions about
whether investing in specific relationships is worthwhile.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Using previous
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/10570319809374611">psychological research</a>
about
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1088/1757-899X/390/1/012064">different types of workplace friendships</a>, along with my experience working with thousands of managers and leaders, I
have created four friendship categories for the workplace.
</span></p>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><b>1. Workplace best friend.</b> This is a very close friendship
with a colleague that is characterized by personal disclosure. Workplace best
friends hold each other in high regard, exercising trust and honesty.
</span></p>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><b>2. Workplace close friendly.</b> These are close friendships, but
not quite at the level of the best friend. Most people in these relationships
want to remain good friends, even if one person leaves the workplace.
</span></p>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><b>3. Workplace friendly.</b> This relationship has some of the same
qualities as above, but is less likely to persist beyond work. There is also
usually less personal disclosure. In other words, it’s the work buddy—the kind
of person you grab a lunch or coffee with.
</span></p>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><b>4. Coworker acquaintance.</b> This refers to someone you might
frequently see at work, but your interactions with them are limited to
exchanging smiles or brief pleasantries.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Benefits of workplace friendships</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Friendships at work provide enhanced
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-022-03949-4">innovation, feelings of psychological safety</a>, and compassion. When employers balance leadership and friendship with their
employees,
<a href="https://hbr.org/2020/10/todays-leaders-need-vulnerability-not-bravado">it encourages the vulnerability, adaptability, and humility</a>
that is required in today’s business environments.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Elton Mayo, one of the founders of modern organizational theory, recognized
that
<a href="https://ia600205.us.archive.org/14/items/socialproblemsof00mayo/socialproblemsof00mayo.pdf">opportunities for social-emotional connections at work</a>
were
<a href="https://hbr.org/2014/12/what-bosses-gain-by-being-vulnerable">crucial for performance</a>.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Merely sharing information with another person doesn’t provide these
opportunities, though—an emotional exchange is needed. An emotional exchange
requires being open about one’s feelings and concerns, while an information
exchange does not.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Because of these emotional exchanges,
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/peps.12109">workplace friendships can be difficult</a>. They require a
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407518761225">significant time investment</a>, as well as trust and disclosure,
<a href="https://theconversation.com/why-do-we-find-making-new-friends-so-hard-as-adults-171740">both of which can be daunting</a>
for some.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Which relationships are worthwhile?</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Making and keeping friends at work has
<a href="https://www.gallup.com/workplace/397058/increasing-importance-best-friend-work.aspx">become increasingly important to people</a>
since the start of the pandemic. As remote and hybrid work have become more
prevalent, friendships at work have taken on the crucial role of providing
essential social and emotional support.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
The workplace best friend relationship provides the most benefits because it
provides the most opportunity for emotional exchanges between colleagues.
These benefits include
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12087">increasing happiness</a>,
productivity, and
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jeconbus.2016.10.004">motivation</a> in
workers.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
But
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12455">close relationships are difficult</a>
and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/peps.12109">exhausting to maintain</a>,
meaning these types of relationships
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1088/1757-899X/390/1/012064">are usually rarer compared to other types</a>.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Workplace close friendly and friendly relationships are the most likely to
provide these benefits without being too emotionally draining or hard to
maintain. Still, it’s important to note that close friendly relationships face
similar challenges as having a best friend at work—namely, a higher risk of
personal conflict spilling over into work.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Coworker acquaintances are the one type of workplace relationship that don’t
provide any of the benefits that come from having friends at work. If you want
to get the most out of work, your best bet is to try and make friends.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Unfriendliness doesn’t pay off</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
But what if you have a colleague you truly can’t stand? Other than grinning
and bearing their presence, you can make the choice to remove yourself. This
could mean leaving the role or trying to distance yourself from that person
without sacrificing your ability to perform.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
While avoiding those you dislike can be helpful, it’s often challenging to do
at work. In addition, being unfriendly at work—either because forming
friendships is too difficult or because you are avoiding a particular
person—can make work
<a href="https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/406298/why-having-best-friend-work-important.aspx">less enjoyable and engaging</a>.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Less-engaged employees
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1108/JOEPP-06-2018-0034">find less meaning in their work</a>
and receive
<a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.109944">less opportunities for advancement</a>. Unfriendliness can also lead to higher levels of
<a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232518458_Loneliness_Human_Nature_and_the_Need_for_Social_Connection">loneliness and isolation</a>, which can end up making you sick.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">A new perspective</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
If you decide to maintain a friendly relationship with a colleague you
dislike, there are some strategies you can use to maintain a productive
working relationship with them. One of these strategies involves using
positive reframing to change the way you think about and interpret your
colleague’s behavior.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Using metaphors to shift your perspective can be a helpful way to accomplish
this. One particularly useful metaphor is likening your colleague to a book.
When reading a book, even if it’s enjoyable, there may be parts you dislike
and overlook. However, you never dismiss the entire book.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Applying this metaphor to colleagues can help you highlight the parts about a
person you like while letting go of the less desirable parts. It’s important
to recognize no one is perfect—in or outside of work.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
While there will always be colleagues you don’t care for, it can be empowering
to know that with some reframing, you can help create a better workplace for
yourself and those around you.
</span></p>
<p></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-70667835787393572023-08-12T13:05:00.004-04:002023-08-12T13:05:45.968-04:00A Case for the Porch<p></p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeikWWHpQXZrs1I31IhwS8Jxj6K-B-ZDPAPseD_8TwiAmWdKqBCAIcQYNpmSM474ekmySZ9PKlMEbmGp7ZZmZzyX9q-v0lFl1KcthtVaELpQJpopWQbsqCDF_GMeAESfyhnVAhghkX5Wp-XzkhHLfn3u6aCMw24UzEdqpJI6SWoThJdr7uyuEYNiIsJg/s360/Capture.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeikWWHpQXZrs1I31IhwS8Jxj6K-B-ZDPAPseD_8TwiAmWdKqBCAIcQYNpmSM474ekmySZ9PKlMEbmGp7ZZmZzyX9q-v0lFl1KcthtVaELpQJpopWQbsqCDF_GMeAESfyhnVAhghkX5Wp-XzkhHLfn3u6aCMw24UzEdqpJI6SWoThJdr7uyuEYNiIsJg/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a>
</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"Lately I've been trying to think like a porch. Trying to think between the
natural and the human. Thinking how best to build during a climate crisis. I
came across John Cage saying that progress in art may be listening to nature. He
thought this activity could best play out on a porch, where we can hear natures
symphony and then breathe our own masterpieces. Can we play our porches like
instruments? So that we listen to but also learn from nature? Doing this will
take practice. Porches are good for that too..."
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-41713282868795378742023-08-12T13:03:00.004-04:002023-08-12T13:03:32.272-04:00Cup of Karma<p></p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZoJk6TqpSv7rGCawQQzz4XhOxr0Vis18JRxOUEEi1CTkP_pT9yvqKxmgu1howT4oAmyu5sCWBoV013dBsIWR5orKU2jZ1Gnv4YIYosF8raK-xpIXFGIlFqz5csBSEGBl9inCnQHjK42oSH69J2LdMO5fI0Ou5FjiOsU6-XXyo3tLviS6Sr_GhTH5UdQ/s360/Capture.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZoJk6TqpSv7rGCawQQzz4XhOxr0Vis18JRxOUEEi1CTkP_pT9yvqKxmgu1howT4oAmyu5sCWBoV013dBsIWR5orKU2jZ1Gnv4YIYosF8raK-xpIXFGIlFqz5csBSEGBl9inCnQHjK42oSH69J2LdMO5fI0Ou5FjiOsU6-XXyo3tLviS6Sr_GhTH5UdQ/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a>
</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
In the fall of 1987, Polly Simpkins met a man on the midnight train from
Copenhagen to Amsterdam who shared with her his philosophy of life which focused
on appreciating the people we love in this world. Cup of Karma was born to
spread this message by bringing together Polly's love of people and her love of
tea. Tea brings people together and Cup of Karma hosts events at which
storytellers share the story of one person in their lives who has influenced
them. There is good karma in every cup of tea and shared stories of appreciation
and celebration of the special people in our lives who have touched us through
love and learning.
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</div>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-18092616836869460372023-08-12T13:00:00.007-04:002023-08-12T13:00:49.411-04:00Maggie Smith: Writing in a Way that is Brave, Real, and True<p></p>
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</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"Bestselling poet Maggie Smith has a gift for embracing the complexity of our
human experience and for writing about it with piercing intensity, clarity, and
beauty. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Maggie about her approach to her
craft and to life, and how writing can serve as a pathway to self-discovery and
release. Featuring a reading of the beloved poem "Good Bones," this insightful
episode of Insights at the Edge explores metaphor and life in sensory
experience; poetic memoir; Maggie's "drill-down" exercise; entering the
territory of our pain; balancing a creative life and domestic responsibilities;
the notion of "containing multitudes"; being an integrated, whole person;
intuition and the deep knowing of what is brave, real, and true; sitting with
the splinters (instead of sanding them down); allowing full wingspan for both
individuals in a relationship; endurance versus closure; forgiveness versus
acceptance; taking a bird's-eye view of our experiences; making life more
beautiful for everyone; and more." <br /></span>
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-6311835948495489172023-08-12T12:50:00.005-04:002023-08-12T12:50:39.626-04:00Arwen Donohue: Care is a Creative Act<p></p>
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</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"I had sort of a grandiose idea that I was writing a big hybrid book--part oral
history illuminated by portraiture, part graphic memoir, and part history of the
peculiar role that the idea of agrarianism has played in American life. The
drawings of daily life on the farm became a small part of this rangy, years-long
interdisciplinary process. After I finished the year of drawing 'Landings,' I
kept working on the oral histories and portraits, and worked on farm-related
comics. I still had the idea that all of these things might come together in
some singular work, but I could not get my arms around it. After all that, I
suppose it's no surprise that Landings has such a simple form..."
</span>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Writer and artist Arwen Donohue shares more about her unique book, 'Landings:
A Crooked Creek Farm Year.'
</span></p>
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-74951423437734629862023-08-12T12:46:00.001-04:002023-08-12T12:46:08.421-04:00A Turtle's Silver Bead of Quietude<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
"One day in the fall, as water and air cooled, at some precise temperature an
ancient bell sounded in the turtle brain. A signal: Take a deep breath. Each
creature slipped off her log and swam for the warmer muck bottom. Stroking her
way through the woven walls of plant stems, she found her bottom place. She
closed her eyes and dug into the mud. She buried herself. And then, pulled
into her shell, encased in darkness, she settled into a deep stillness. Her
heart slowed -- and slowed -- almost to stopping..."
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Gayle Boss shares more in this beautiful passage about turtles, waiting, and
stillness.
</span></p><hr />
<div class="my-0" id="dg_story">
<div class="perm_post dark-link">
<p>
</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzGK31OeS-i6okvjwWnkCRAsmzjeYGfSWR4WQmmro8RLC7paJBtJ01-EV2nkaN5iDyz7svy3yiWRNrYvCjOO3bO87P7dHVSr51BQPNX1PCfvLVHn1GlJCscG-msDSkjCvQu_20K88mSeCEPi1Peyv8W3IIXSAQz_bNUTntmSAgwMIW4xvzy7q5S3QDxA/s360/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzGK31OeS-i6okvjwWnkCRAsmzjeYGfSWR4WQmmro8RLC7paJBtJ01-EV2nkaN5iDyz7svy3yiWRNrYvCjOO3bO87P7dHVSr51BQPNX1PCfvLVHn1GlJCscG-msDSkjCvQu_20K88mSeCEPi1Peyv8W3IIXSAQz_bNUTntmSAgwMIW4xvzy7q5S3QDxA/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">The day is bright and warm for December, but the logs in the marsh pond
are bare. Spring to summer into early fall they served, on sunny days, as
spa to a dozen or so painted turtles. I would see them basking,
splay-legged, stretching their leathery necks out full length, avid for
every luscious atom of sunlight and sun-warmth.
</span><p></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Out of sight now, they’ve not escaped the harsher cold that’s coming.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
The water is maybe waist-deep in this pond, but a murky soup, clogged with
roots and plants. One day in the fall, as water and air cooled, at some
precise temperature an ancient bell sounded in the turtle brain. A
signal: <i>Take a deep breath</i>. Each creature slipped off
her log and swam for the warmer muck bottom. Stroking her way through the
woven walls of plant stems, she found her bottom place. She closed her
eyes and dug into the mud. She buried herself.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
And then, pulled into her shell, encased in darkness, she settled into a
deep stillness. Her heart slowed -- and slowed -- almost to stopping.
Her body temperature dropped -- and stopped just short of freezing. Now,
beneath a layer of mud, beneath the weight of frigid water and its skin of
ice and skim of snow, everything in her has gone so still she doesn’t need
to breathe. And anyway, the iced-over pond will soon be empty of oxygen.
Sunk in its bottom-mud, for six months she will not draw air into her
lungs. To survive a cold that would kill her, or slow her so that
predators would kill her, she slows herself beyond breath in a place where
breath is not possible.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
And waits. As ice locks in the marsh water and howling squalls batter its
reeds and brush, beneath it all she waits. It is her one work, and it is
not easy. Oxygen depletion stresses every particle of her. Lactic acid
pools in her bloodstream. Her muscles begin to burn—her heart muscle, too,
a deadly sign. That acid has to be neutralized, and calcium is the element
to do it. Out of her bones, then out of her shell, her body pulls calcium,
slowly dissolving her structure, her shape, her strength. But to move to
escape -- requiring breath -- in a place where there is no oxygen -- that
would suffocate her. So, though she is dissolving, every stressed
particle of her stays focused on the silver bead of utter quietude.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
It’s this radical simplicity that will save her. And deep within it, at
the heart of her stillness, something she has no need to name, but
something we might call trust: that one day, yes, the world will warm
again, and with it, her life.
</span></p>
</div>
</div>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;"> </span></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-71315059338905523262023-08-07T10:21:00.004-04:002023-08-07T10:21:31.142-04:00How to Disagree Without Having a Debate<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Stanford students are coming together to discuss political differences with
their peers across the country.<br /><br />“That is an interesting
perspective. Have you always thought that way, or has it changed and evolved
over time?”<br /><br />By <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/melissa_de_witte" target="_blank">Melissa De Witte</a></span>
</p><hr />
<p>
</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-FSwgX05JlzKjMi0jt6J-K_DdBcsYBeodaSH68Lt2lg25ig_an6LAkGoewfCUglhNXZdiDBNyhAAuQagq_lGpDQmS-knfWCMiA46qBBkU-HCqUB-dC1JSE9C1NiUBBZgoVM4aufeqJ45BBxNLRAJP9huUZA-wffSYIvyASp2zcjuo_3n53Jpo6bXQQ/s350/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="350" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-FSwgX05JlzKjMi0jt6J-K_DdBcsYBeodaSH68Lt2lg25ig_an6LAkGoewfCUglhNXZdiDBNyhAAuQagq_lGpDQmS-knfWCMiA46qBBkU-HCqUB-dC1JSE9C1NiUBBZgoVM4aufeqJ45BBxNLRAJP9huUZA-wffSYIvyASp2zcjuo_3n53Jpo6bXQQ/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">“Tell me about the influences that you think most impacted your perspective.
Was it your family, your peers, your educators, or perhaps a book?”
</span><p></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Asking questions like these were among the many tactics Stanford senior Liana
Keesing learned through her involvement in the
<a href="https://ethicsinsociety.stanford.edu/undergraduate/intercollegiate-civil-disagreement-fellowship">Intercollegiate Civil Disagreement Partnership</a>
(ICDP), a consortium of five colleges and universities, including Stanford,
that brings students from a variety of backgrounds together for meaningful
dialogue across political differences.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“Civil disagreement is about holding space for different ways of coming to
different beliefs and opinions,” said Keesing, a coterm in electrical
engineering. Keesing first got involved as a junior and returned this past
year as a senior fellow, where she helped facilitate productive and purposeful
conversation among students.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Every other week during the year-long program, some 40 students from across
the country gathered over Zoom and for the Stanford cohort, in person, to
discuss issues that mattered to them and why.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Bringing people together across political differences and geography</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
The program emerged during the global pandemic.
<a href="https://ethicsinsociety.stanford.edu/people/collin-anthony-chen">Collin Anthony Chen</a>, the associate director for undergraduate outreach at the
<a href="https://ethicsinsociety.stanford.edu/">McCoy Family Center for Ethics in Society</a>, wanted to create a space for students to connect with people across their
political differences, especially at a time when polarization, partisanship,
and
<a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/dspd/2021/07/trust-public-institutions/">distrust in public institutions were running high</a>.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Chen connected with his counterparts from ethics centers at four other
institutions to form a consortium that represented students from a wide
variety of backgrounds.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
The program has just completed its third year. The institutions involved
include St. Philip’s College in San Antonio, Texas, which is the only college
to be federally designated as both a historically Black college and a
Hispanic-serving institution; California State University, Bakersfield; Santa
Fe Community College in Gainesville, Florida; and Harvard University in
Cambridge, Massachusetts. This past year, the University of Tennessee,
Knoxville, also piloted the program.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
A unique aspect of ICDP is the diversity the consortium offers. In addition to
representation across the political spectrum, students come from a variety of
lived experiences: There were adult learners and others with children. Some
participants lived in rural areas, others came from urban settings. There were
students who served in the military and those active in local civic life.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Despite these different backgrounds, they were united in one thing: They all
wanted to have authentic and sincere conversations with one another.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">“Everyone comes in engaging in good faith—that’s huge,” Keesing said.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
In the first quarter, students focused first on getting to know one another.
Each delivered a presentation—a “civic self-portrait”—about themselves,
opening up about their life experiences and how they came to hold the
political values they have. The goal was to establish connections and start
forming a community based on openness and understanding, both key ingredients
for having real, meaningful dialogue.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“You cannot have civil disagreement without some baseline level of trust
between people, and that takes time—that’s why the program is a year long,”
Chen explained.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Learning to ask questions and disagree</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
During the second and third quarters, students put civil discourse skills into
practice as they discuss and facilitate conversations among each other about a
range of political issues, such as gun safety, immigration, and female
reproductive rights.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
These can be hard and sometimes very personal topics. To navigate these
challenges, students learn strategies for asking questions that encourage
curiosity and exploration, as well as tools to help them assess how a
conversation is going. For example, students are introduced to a “disagreement
index”—a thermometer that helps gauge the intensity of a conversation, ranging
from cold to simmering to boiling. The sweet spot for a conversation lies at
the simmering point, where students move beyond mere “politeness” in
conversation and leave their comfort zone. But it identifies limits. When a
discussion is overheated, participants are encouraged to pause, check in, and
remind one another of the goals of the conversation.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
People have complex histories and identities, and there might be experiences
that have shaped those beliefs at different stages of their lives—an idea
students come to appreciate and be reminded of as conversations get heated.
</span></p>
<div class="testimonial"><span style="font-family: arial;">
“You cannot have civil disagreement without some baseline level of trust
between people, and that takes time”
<span class="testimonial-author">―Collin Anthony Chen, Ph.D.</span></span>
</div>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Core to these skills and tools is the idea that engaging in civil discourse is
different from having a debate with someone.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“In a debate, you are typically trying to persuade someone that your
perspective is right,” Chen explained. “While there is an important place for
debate in a democracy, changing someone’s mind is not the goal of the program.
Rather, it is about listening and holding empathy for what has shaped or
influenced another person’s political stance.”
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Challenging assumptions and being courageous</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Students are also encouraged to challenge assumptions about people with
certain political or personal identities. To accomplish this, ICDP hosted
panel events throughout the year that included people with unexpected
backgrounds—for example, on a panel focused on women’s reproductive health,
Monica Sparks, a Black Democrat who opposed abortion, was featured. The
program also hosted religious leader the Rev. Rob Schenck, who was once active
in the pro-life movement but later shifted to pro-choice.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Assumptions are also challenged between peers.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Keesing remembers one conversation when the group was talking about police
intervention. Their discussion came after the murder of George Floyd, a tragic
event that spurred nationwide protests about how some police officers mistreat
people of color. Out of those protests was a call for reform. One non-white
participant—who, because of discourse at the time, was assumed by other
fellows to be in support of defunding the police—spoke up in favor of law
enforcement. She shared how she was a survivor of domestic violence and, for
her, the police were a valuable resource in securing her safety.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Students learned how to be courageous and vulnerable with one another.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“It is a testament to the program that students feel empowered to share
aspects of their personal histories that do not fit neatly into one narrative
or another,” Chen said. “The dialogues open up space for nuance and
vulnerability that is sometimes difficult to find elsewhere.”
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“One of the things that ICDP really emphasizes is how many issues are not
black and white,” Keesing added. “How do we have discussions that just have
more nuance? It really comes down to creating spaces and creating dialogue
that allow for so much more gray. Gray is a good thing to get comfortable in.”
</span></p>
<p></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-73139798942690361882023-08-07T10:18:00.005-04:002023-08-07T10:18:48.743-04:00For More Productive Debates, Think About What’s Most Important to You<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
According to new research, reflecting on important values may help us engage
in more constructive debates.<br /><br />Imagine you’re anticipating a
conversation with someone you like and respect, but often disagree with.
Perhaps you’re talking with a family member or a coworker known for being
opinionated. What is the best way to make your voice heard while still finding
some common ground?<br /><br />By <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/elizabeth_hopper" target="_blank">Elizabeth Hopper</a></span>
</p><hr />
<p>
</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJi-Oir5HbBREZsaNyUvyjEpmcqFV9_tihxHMGtgsYDM_BmhpBFPR6q-a0ei43CKU1aBqsBU9zIGeWlzIlSB36X8ibZbKoYVx7srmatA1DVAWl3szlFRKYWcoehXdbvcnwPB6yonf3SXQjN_coHmlf1AJUBjLSrlsNcoNHfo8pPvMlmrWPYPnFsPpusQ/s350/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="350" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJi-Oir5HbBREZsaNyUvyjEpmcqFV9_tihxHMGtgsYDM_BmhpBFPR6q-a0ei43CKU1aBqsBU9zIGeWlzIlSB36X8ibZbKoYVx7srmatA1DVAWl3szlFRKYWcoehXdbvcnwPB6yonf3SXQjN_coHmlf1AJUBjLSrlsNcoNHfo8pPvMlmrWPYPnFsPpusQ/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">According to past research, intellectual humility—willingness to accept that
our beliefs may be incorrect—is one factor that may help us have more
productive debates. People who are more intellectually humble tend to be more
empathic, and they tend to view people they disagree with in a more positive
light. Intellectual humility can also
<a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/this_trait_makes_you_less_susceptible_to_covid_19_misinformation">inoculate us</a>
against misinformation, because people higher in intellectual humility are
more likely to investigate factually incorrect headlines instead of taking
them at face value. In other words, intellectually humble people try to
understand other people and the world around them, even if this means
admitting they may be wrong.
</span><p></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
While the benefits of intellectual humility are well-documented, less research
has studied the factors that might increase humility. However, according to a
<a href="https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rsos.220958">new paper</a>
published earlier this year by Royal Society Open Science, one way to increase
humility may be relatively straightforward: by asking people to reflect on
their values.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">What’s important to you?</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
In the study, researchers asked 303 students and community members to
participate in a debate about university tuition fees. Some participants were
first asked to engage in a
<a href="https://ggia.berkeley.edu/index.php/practice/affirming_important_values">self-affirmation</a>—that is, they were given a list of 19 values and asked to write about the
value that was most important to them, such as achievement, concern for
others, or protecting the natural world. (Other participants were instead
asked to write about a neutral topic.)
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Next, participants viewed a PowerPoint presentation presenting arguments about
tuition fees. Afterward, they met in small groups of two to four to decide
which of the arguments were most and least persuasive. Each group also
consisted of one person who, unbeknownst to the participants, was a member of
the research team—and was tasked with voicing disagreement with the other
group members.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
During the debate, the participants were videotaped, and the researchers
analyzed these recordings to measure each participant’s level of intellectual
humility. How? Researchers looked at how often participants engaged in
something called qualified engagement. That involves actively listening and
being involved in the conversation, although—crucially—it didn’t mean the
participant always agreed with what the other person said. A participant
showing high levels of qualified engagement might agree and build off what the
other person said (“Yes, that’s true…”) or disagree while still acknowledging
some common ground (e.g. “That’s true, but…”). Critically, intellectually
humble people did make their opinions known, rather than simply nodding along
or saying “OK” without engaging with the substance of what the other person
said.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
The researchers also considered a participant more intellectually humble if
they engaged in less of what the researchers called
<i>boosted conviction</i>, which indicates a more arrogant communication
style. Boosted conviction involves using words like “obviously” or “always”
(which indicate that the participant is making sweeping statements and
generalizations) or making statements suggesting that the other person is
being unreasonable (e.g. “How can you say that?”).
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Can values tame arrogance?</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
The researchers found that participants who wrote about their values showed
more intellectually humble behavior during the debates, based on the types of
words they used.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Additionally, the participants who wrote about their values reported higher
levels of what researchers consider prosocial emotions, such as empathy and
gratitude. However, they also felt somewhat higher levels of some negative
emotions, such as feeling sad and vulnerable, than participants who wrote
about neutral topics—although, that said, their overall levels of negative
emotions were still relatively low.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Why did writing about values increase intellectual humility? This might help
support something called self-affirmation theory: When people think about a
value that is important to them, they feel a more stable and coherent sense of
self. As a result, a situation that might normally be threatening—such as a
political disagreement—is one that people are able to approach more calmly and
less defensively.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Despite its benefits, intellectual humility is something most of us need more
of. In one study, professor
<a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/mark_leary">Mark Leary</a>
of Duke University asked participants to think back on disagreements and
indicate whether they were usually in the right. Although, statistically, the
average person would only be right about half the time, 82% of research
participants indicated that they were the one in the right.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
What can you do to make potentially challenging conversations more productive?
Paul Hanel, one of the study’s lead authors, has a few suggestions.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
As his research suggests, taking some time before the conversation to reflect
on your most important values may be able to help you debate in a more
constructive and open-minded way. Then, perhaps you and the other person can
start by finding some common ground—something you both can both agree on. If
the other person becomes heated and emotional, it could help you to take
things less personally if you consider how their behavior might be shaped by
contextual factors, like whether they’ve had enough sleep the night before.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Just try to remember that what’s most important to you might not necessarily
be what’s important to them. Understanding that difference won’t just help you
to have a productive disagreement—it’ll help you to feel stronger within
yourself.
</span></p>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span>
<p></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-10810323513598760742023-08-07T10:15:00.001-04:002023-08-07T10:15:20.893-04:00What Does a Human-Robot Relationship Look Like?<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
When people encounter social robots, they tend to treat them as both machine
and character, explains a new paper.<br /><br />The little dinosaur robot
blinks its big, blue eyes and stretches its neck. It tilts its head toward a
human, who responds with a pat. The dinosaur closes its eyes in apparent
contentment. But when it suddenly freezes, the human flips it over to check
its batteries.<br /><br />By <a href="https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/profile/tara_roberts" target="_blank">Tara Roberts</a></span>
</p><hr />
<p>
</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwretlb5NgfI7FXdbMdWr893UFHPrsMHpBWxyx-vjdD-DuOhXGzlwwRsmZ6gNmVdFGmf_6Q-gWL61ctxMIsKnY2E4dR9iWVvoDHmu8KbKZUeVqpbisXKOeP7und3VM1ZRCHjoaad1YdL4dgibgHtikFZCbz2MBw4tAgFrc-iSK-yfLZJPg-n4geRrA1A/s350/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Barack Obama watches Asimo, a robot made by Honda (State Department photo by William Ng / public domain)." border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="350" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwretlb5NgfI7FXdbMdWr893UFHPrsMHpBWxyx-vjdD-DuOhXGzlwwRsmZ6gNmVdFGmf_6Q-gWL61ctxMIsKnY2E4dR9iWVvoDHmu8KbKZUeVqpbisXKOeP7und3VM1ZRCHjoaad1YdL4dgibgHtikFZCbz2MBw4tAgFrc-iSK-yfLZJPg-n4geRrA1A/w320-h219/Capture.JPG" title="Barack Obama watches Asimo, a robot made by Honda (State Department photo by William Ng / public domain)." width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">Why we respond to social robots the way we do—sometimes treating them as real
beings, other times recognizing that they are machinery—is the central
question of new research by Stanford psychologist
<a href="https://web.stanford.edu/~clark/">Herbert Clark</a>, Albert Ray Lang
Professor of Psychology, Emeritus, in the
<a href="https://humsci.stanford.edu/">School of Humanities and Sciences</a>
at Stanford University, and his longtime collaborator
<a href="https://portal.findresearcher.sdu.dk/en/persons/kerstin">Kerstin Fischer</a>, professor of language and technology interaction at the University of
Southern Denmark.
</span><p></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“It’s puzzling how socially people respond to things that are actually
machines,” Fischer said. “There’s lots of emotionality and sociality in
interacting with a robot. How is it that these machines can be dealt with as
if they were living people?”
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Clark and Fischer argue that people interpret social robots, which are
designed to interact with humans, as depictions of characters—similar to
puppets, stage actors, and ventriloquist dummies.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Their view is controversial. Clark and Fischer’s
<a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/F5CB476CCC6A1BF375489045F4BED200/S0140525X22000668a.pdf/social-robots-as-depictions-of-social-agents.pdf">paper</a>
appeared recently in the journal
<i>Behavioral and Brain Sciences</i> alongside open peer commentary, in
which dozens of researchers in multiple disciplines from around the world
reacted to their conclusions.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
The discussion matters in a world where humans are increasingly encountering
robots, and those robots are increasing in their abilities. Understanding how
and why people interact socially with robots could guide how future robots are
designed, as well as shape how we interpret people’s responses to those
robots.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">The basics of the depiction model</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
A person viewing Michelangelo’s statue of David knows it’s a chunk of carved
marble. But the viewer simultaneously understands it as a depiction of the
biblical character preparing for the battle against Goliath.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
In the same way, Clark and Fischer said, people are aware that social robots
are made of wires and sensors shaped into a depiction of a character like a
little dinosaur, a pet dog, or a human caretaker or tutor. But when people
interact with these robots, most are willing to treat them as the characters
they depict.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“We understand what an image is, we understand what a drawing is, we
understand what a movie is, and therefore we understand what a robot is,
because we construct the robot’s character in exactly the same way we
construct the characters we see depicted in a drawing or movie,” Fischer said.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
People also recognize that the characters are specifically designed to
interact with humans, Clark said.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“People do understand that these robots are ultimately the responsibility of
the people who designed them and are working them,” he said.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
This knowledge comes into play when something goes wrong, like a robot sharing
bad information or injuring someone. People don’t hold the robot responsible.
They blame the owner or operator—re-emphasizing their understanding of the
object and the character.
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Another view from a Stanford colleague</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
One of the commentaries that expands on the depiction model comes from another
Stanford researcher,
<a href="https://profiles.stanford.edu/byron-reeves">Byron Reeves</a>, the
Paul C. Edwards Professor of Communication in the School of Humanities and
Sciences at Stanford University, who studies how people psychologically
process media characters and avatars, including robots.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Reeves argues that while people sometimes treat robots as depictions, they can
also have quick natural responses to robots, with thought coming later—the
same way you might jump in fright when a dinosaur appears on screen in a
movie, and then remind yourself it isn’t real.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“It’s the really fast-thinking stuff. I mean, milliseconds fast,” Reeves said.
“Now, in fairness, (Clark) thinks that his depiction model applies to those
quick responses as well. I don’t see a good fit with their main concepts.
Depiction emphasizes words like ‘appreciation’ and ‘interpretation’ and
‘imagination,’ and they just seem slower, more thoughtful. They’re kind of
literary responses: ‘I’ll actively pretend this is real because that will be
entertaining.’ ”
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Clark and Fischer note in their response to the commentaries that people’s
immersion in the story world of a novel, for instance, “is continuous; they
don’t have to re-immerse themselves with each new sentence or paragraph. The
same is true with social robots. People don’t need extra ‘time and effort’ for
‘reflection’ at each new step of their interaction with a robot.”
</span></p>
<div class="testimonial" style="margin-left: 40px; text-align: left;">
<i style="font-family: arial;">“There’s lots of emotionality and sociality in interacting with a robot”
<span class="testimonial-author">―Kerstin Fischer, Ph.D.</span></i>
</div>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
They argue that understanding depictions is immediate and fast, and even
children understand them from a very young age.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“I have a granddaughter who is now six, but when she was one and a half or
two, she was already able to take dolls and treat them as characters,” Clark
said.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Reeves said his model is more likely to predict how social robotics technology
will progress in the future.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“The dinosaurs in movies are better and better, and juicier and juicier, and
scarier and scarier,” he said. “I think robots will go there as well.”
</span></p>
<h2><span style="font-family: arial;">Lessons for designers and interactors</span></h2>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
While humans may treat social robots like real people or animals, the
technology is a long way from replicating actual human interaction, Clark and
Fischer said.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“It takes real skill for people to communicate effectively, even with simple
things like spatial descriptions,” Clark said. “People know precisely how to
combine descriptions, gestures, eye gaze, and mutual attention in telling
people where things are. Well, to get robots to be equally skillful—even on a
simple thing like that—will be really, really hard.”
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Even advanced social robots are extremely limited. But when people interpret
them as characters, they’re prone to overestimate their capabilities.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“If you have a robot math tutor, you still cannot leave your kid alone with
the robot. Why? Because it won’t notice when the child is choking or climbing
the balcony or doing something else,” Fischer said.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
This type of overestimation also causes problems with other popular but
limited technologies, such as voice assistants and AI chatbots. People who
design robots and similar technologies should make the constraints more
transparent to users, Clark said.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Clark and Fischer said their model not only recognizes the level of work that
goes into designing social robots, but also encourages a positive view of the
people who interact with them. Under the depiction model, a person who treats
the little dinosaur robot like a pet is behaving normally.
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
“Our model shows respect for the people who interact with the robots in social
ways,” Fischer said. “We don’t need to assume they are lonely or irrational or
confused, or deficient in any way.”
</span></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-54837916366932909952023-08-07T10:09:00.003-04:002023-08-07T10:09:21.163-04:00It Takes Brokenness to Find It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"My father was 67 when he died, and that's too young, but lately, as I stare at
some hard realities of aging and mortality, I begin to appreciate the fact that
he didn't have to endure a long period of frailty, pain, and dependence. My
father was himself to very the end, brilliant and good and a force of nature,
the most important person in my world, and I miss him terribly even now. Maybe
especially now. I find solace in these words from a poem my friend Naomi Shihab
Nye wrote after the death of her own beloved father: 'There's a way not to be
broken that takes brokenness to find it.'" This short post by Cynthia Carbone
Ward touches on grief, gratitude and love. She shines a spotlight on, "Those
Winter Sundays," Robert Hayden's unforgettable poem and poignant tribute to his
own father.
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-77308453824647051872023-08-07T10:01:00.004-04:002023-08-07T10:01:19.695-04:00Cultivating Wisdom: The Power of Mood<p></p>
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</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
Do you believe that what you see influences how you feel? Actually, the opposite
is true: What you feel - your "affect" -- influences all our senses -- what you
see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. Psychologist and neuroscientist Lisa Feldman
Barrett shares the groundbreaking discovery that you experience the world
through affect-colored glasses. She also reveals how affect can be a source of
wisdom that helps you to make better, wiser choices in life.
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</div>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-20064419381173276962023-08-07T09:57:00.003-04:002023-08-07T09:57:31.755-04:00Parenting Advice from Mister Rogers<p></p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVkCboKuVX2irFr4ItNdM9BNQfjzl-L055_5yl5FXPM56PEoUi0YCgO_yc3iZgjffs__ip1kC4HaJcPY5zRgd8JCPuZlDL2LfuHi3tvnYtEEnkxQlFrSmT-TU41hRvhiFjbsWRgsyGF5bEG9wMjYtBZH5rtXaBPXRqfoNnyNg_HoY1-mi370EHGpE0Ww/s1360/Capture.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="765" data-original-width="1360" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVkCboKuVX2irFr4ItNdM9BNQfjzl-L055_5yl5FXPM56PEoUi0YCgO_yc3iZgjffs__ip1kC4HaJcPY5zRgd8JCPuZlDL2LfuHi3tvnYtEEnkxQlFrSmT-TU41hRvhiFjbsWRgsyGF5bEG9wMjYtBZH5rtXaBPXRqfoNnyNg_HoY1-mi370EHGpE0Ww/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a>
</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"Being responsible for ourselves, knowing our own wants and meeting them, is
difficult enough -- so difficult that the notion of being responsible for anyone
else, knowing anyone else's innermost desires and slaking them, seems like a
superhuman feat. And yet the entire history of our species rests upon it -- the
scores of generations of parents who, despite the near-impossibility of getting
it right, have raised small defenseless creatures into a capable continuation of
the species. This recognition is precisely what made Donald Winnicott's notion
of good-enough parenting so revolutionary and so liberating, and what Florida
Scott Maxwell held in mind when she considered the most important thing to
remember about your mother. And yet to be a parent is to suffer the ceaseless
anxiety of getting it wrong. A touching antidote to that anxiety comes from Fred
Rogers..."
</span>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Maria Popova shares more.</span></p>
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<a class="BSubButton" href="https://www.themarginalian.org/2023/06/22/mister-rogers-parenting/?mc_cid=62734f5bd7&mc_eid=76262496ff" style="font-family: arial;">Read Article</a>
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-66783371716651913972023-08-07T09:49:00.005-04:002023-08-07T09:49:50.040-04:00The Spiritual Awakening of a World-Class Drunk<p></p>
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</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"In 1940, Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, a man who knew sin
and failure like he knew the back of his hand, was living with his wife, Lois,
in a tiny room at the Alcoholics Anonymous "clubhouse" in downtown Manhattan.
Wilson was in despair, unsure of the state of his soul, of his role in life, and
of the future of A.A. Just then, at his nadir, a Jesuit priest from S. Louis,
Father Edward Dowling, who knew of Bill's work, came calling."
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-38415561232950919702023-08-01T11:50:00.005-04:002023-08-01T11:50:35.097-04:00Seth Godin: The Song of Significance<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
When Seth Godin made an exception to his no-flying for work rule to help run a
conference for entrepreneurs working on climate, issues, it was at the request
of a man named Dan in Australia whose 10-year-old daughter was born with
health issues. The day before the conference the man let him know his daughter
wasn't feeling well, so he wouldn't be there in person. Seth ended up running
the conference with an Australian beekeeper."And he started talking to me
about the bees, and he told me the story of Jacqueline Freeman's Song of
Increase. And The Song of Increase is just such a great Tim Ferriss story. So
heres what happens."
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
This brief excerpt from Ferriss' interview with Godin shares the fascinating
backstory behind Godin's latest book, "The Song of Significance: A New
Manifesto for Teams."
</span></p><hr />
<div class="my-0" id="dg_story">
<div class="perm_post dark-link">
<p>
</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEnwSNsPCrf_NSGmdJdw5jHweTHkwjl6ynp4dkFWIoFzGT6mMEG0b649HEv013QnVSr4JJwSdsA8wNoi-sLH_8sf9XRlXnBkgSavF8zIBW3ijTvj6RZNo3SYDGxsYRbZaUmvmgjBwp3tPGr0ZNG-REjQP-MjVCHkVQoXGYBVWeDzkeuYK__TzdlAKP2g/s360/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEnwSNsPCrf_NSGmdJdw5jHweTHkwjl6ynp4dkFWIoFzGT6mMEG0b649HEv013QnVSr4JJwSdsA8wNoi-sLH_8sf9XRlXnBkgSavF8zIBW3ijTvj6RZNo3SYDGxsYRbZaUmvmgjBwp3tPGr0ZNG-REjQP-MjVCHkVQoXGYBVWeDzkeuYK__TzdlAKP2g/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">The text in italics below are quotes by Seth Godin excerpted from an
interview between Tim Ferriss and Seth Godin on
<i>The Tim Ferriss Show.</i> You can listen to their full conversation
or read the transcript
<a href="https://tim.blog/2023/05/18/seth-godin-2-transcript/">here.</a></span>
<p></p>
<p>
<i style="font-family: arial;">"A typical feral beehive at the end of a long winter, will have barely
made it through. That’s what the honey’s for, to supply them with food
during the course of the winter. But if they made it, the council of
maidens will meet. They’re the ones who really run the hive, and they
will do a couple things. The first thing they will do is build a
vertical egg chamber and instruct the queen to lay and fertilize a queen
egg, which is very unusual because there’s only one queen in a hive. And
the second thing they will do is tell the rest of the maidens to go get
as much pollen as they possibly can and replenish the honey supply. This
happens in May and June in the Northern Hemisphere. [...]</i>
</p>
<p>
<i style="font-family: arial;">And then based on the weather, because they know what the weather is
going to be, they’re very good at this, they will organize without an
organizer, leave without a leader. 12,000 bees will leave the hive in a
10-minute period of time. They will leap out of the hive singing the
song of increase. And Jacqueline has written beautifully about this. And
then they end up in a tree 100 yards away, in a tight ball, because bees
have to maintain a body temperature of 98 degrees or else they fall
apart. They get into a torpor.</i>
</p>
<p>
<i style="font-family: arial;">And now they only have three days to find a new place to live. And each
one of the bees is doing what the bee does. Almost every bee, except for
the queen, is only three weeks old, which I didn’t know. I thought bees
lived a really long time. And so the scout bees are doing their scouting
and the maidens are doing their — and each bee is doing their thing. But
the hive is basically a human brain inside out. There are neurons all
working in sync to create this leap forward." </i>
</p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Godin was mesmerized by the implications of this for humans-- before
realizing humans aren't bees---
</span></p>
<p>
<i style="font-family: arial;"> "We’re looking for something with even more internal meaning than
simply this leap forward."
</i>
</p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
On an early morning swim the next morning he was caught in a riptide
and---
</span></p>
<p>
<i style="font-family: arial;"> "came as close to drowning as it is possible for a person to
come. And as it happened, I was pretty okay with the fact that that was
the end of that. I would miss my family. I would miss so many things.
But it was like, “Well, if that’s the end of that, that’s the end of
that.” And then this mission of talking about significance just flooded
over me and I somehow figured out how to get back to shore. And then the
next day I heard from Dan and his daughter Frankie had passed away. And
the combination of all those things helped me realize that the world
probably doesn’t need another marketing book from me, but probably could
benefit from thinking about all of those things at once and realizing
that we have so much more power than we want to acknowledge.</i></p></div></div>The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-44125014834818915082023-08-01T11:45:00.006-04:002023-08-01T11:45:56.406-04:00When Elves Took Over an Abandoned Gas Station<p></p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUdUEoMSaJbflJfxE-IUjlz9jL0rqtJ9r48A1XeVEE9jvmWshbVxMc5ul0JwZz7gI7Ten2--SnYurxmlCLGJb-HbhyunJ2igeowkMLXn2JCG6o9WcU02XI7tYhrddFy93W-Sjd7IdBy0r_s3gbEZcSX4-7dKNqfUHHPzj0MlCcAK4n8NTuK7uFi1IniQ/s360/Capture.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUdUEoMSaJbflJfxE-IUjlz9jL0rqtJ9r48A1XeVEE9jvmWshbVxMc5ul0JwZz7gI7Ten2--SnYurxmlCLGJb-HbhyunJ2igeowkMLXn2JCG6o9WcU02XI7tYhrddFy93W-Sjd7IdBy0r_s3gbEZcSX4-7dKNqfUHHPzj0MlCcAK4n8NTuK7uFi1IniQ/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a>
</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"I'm a sucker for enchantment, , especially when it arises from unlikely places.
By a year and a half into the pandemic in the fall of 2021, I had become
increasingly frustrated by the incursion of scientific measurement into daily
life, from never-ending COVID testing to forehead thermometer readings. As
valuable as such tools can be, I longed for my daily life to be filled with more
of the unquantifiable mystery that fills our world, even if we only notice it in
exceptional moments. Following the alchemical experience of losing my father
early in the pandemic, I was inspired to learn more about my ancestors. Seated
at my home computer, I began a genealogical investigation that eventually took
me to three continents. I relished my meandering online journey, pausing to
appreciate the storied lands of the Celts, the fantastical creatures that
populate their folklore, and the enduring belief in them among modern people. I
did not expect to encounter these legendary creatures on my city block in
Somerville, Massachusetts..."
</span>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Kaitlin Smith shares more about sowing enchantment in a Boston suburb.</span></p>
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<a class="BSubButton" href="https://orionmagazine.org/article/defend-elfland-somerville-massachusetts/" style="font-family: arial;">Read Article</a>
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-69245953533653253982023-08-01T11:40:00.002-04:002023-08-01T11:40:11.507-04:00The Constant Gardener<p></p>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho5nDd6aTGQwVkhDlUqWgwNX9ZIhVZQsWYPM41wV92WKYVpSsqf17AriBPfFVH4dcHrzrVuAKY7qlHsxobx1mUaaSLgUmrw4ASgcEm0a5HJinztJtG3fnPADPX_js4EN3Rwx7tqLr19_yNWxSLnfLpmFSC0VH8G7uOxRIKM3dhuXEb5f2VVA3022HxCw/s360/Capture.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho5nDd6aTGQwVkhDlUqWgwNX9ZIhVZQsWYPM41wV92WKYVpSsqf17AriBPfFVH4dcHrzrVuAKY7qlHsxobx1mUaaSLgUmrw4ASgcEm0a5HJinztJtG3fnPADPX_js4EN3Rwx7tqLr19_yNWxSLnfLpmFSC0VH8G7uOxRIKM3dhuXEb5f2VVA3022HxCw/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a>
</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
The garden is a space defined not by its physicality but by the emotions it
evokes and the connections it provokes. And the act of gardening can change the
way we relate to the world around us for the better, giving us perspective and
teaching us lessons about life. Our souls are gardens. Our hearts are flowers.
They need to be watered, tended, fertilized and loved. Happy gardening!
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-76994586390050065772023-08-01T11:33:00.004-04:002023-08-01T11:33:59.715-04:00The Sound of the Genuine <p></p>
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</div>
<span style="font-family: arial;">
There is in every person something that waits and listens for the sound of the
genuine ... There is in you something that waits and listens for the sound of
the genuine in yourself. Nobody like you has ever been born and no one like
you will ever be born again -- you are the only one.</span>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;"> By <a href="http://www.awakin.org/v2/read/search.php?op=name&auth=Howard+Thurman" target="_blank">Howard Thurman</a></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><br />
If you cannot hear it, you will never find whatever it is for which you are
searching and if you hear it and then do not follow it, it was better that
you had never been born. You are the only you that has ever lived; your
idiom is the only idiom of its kind in all the existences, and if you cannot
hear the sound of the genuine in you, you will all of your life spend your
days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.
</span>
</p>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;">The sound of the genuine is flowing through you. Don’t be deceived and
thrown off by all the noises that are part even of your dreams and your
ambitions when you don’t hear the sound of the genuine in you. Because that
is the only true guide you will ever have and if you don’t have that you
don’t have a thing ... Cultivate the discipline of listening to the sound of
the genuine in yourself.</span>
</p>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;">There is something in everybody that waits and listens for the sound of the
genuine in other people... I must wait and listen for the sound of the
genuine in you. I must wait. For if I cannot hear it, then in my scheme of
things, you are not ever present. So as I live my life then, this is what I
am trying to fulfill...that I’m secure because I hear the sound of the
genuine in myself, and having learned to listen to that, I can become quiet
enough, still enough to hear the sound of the genuine in you. </span>
</p>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;">Now if I hear the sound of the genuine in me and if you hear the sound of
the genuine in you, it is possible for me to go down in [my spirit] and come
up in [your spirit]. So that when I look at myself through your eyes having
made that pilgrimage, I see in me what you see in me. [Then] the wall that
separates and divides will disappear, and we will become one -- because
the sound of the genuine makes the same music.</span>
</p>
<p></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-7548017603108447742023-08-01T11:25:00.004-04:002023-08-01T11:25:32.332-04:00The Donkey & the Meaning of Eternity: A Love Letter to Life<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8IsRjGvEmtSojPH29c_mbctgIbV8APD8-zjB0mPDXUOaCn1UnlnHVA97tLygQ5l3x2fLqBmDOcvqmItz2UMDVr68orSYsz7gZXipVV4gWzfejFtL30FGyMY3OOarMVoWYQ8m9I5uyNo-O5hZqsucVEM9Smn8NTXp-GeXjb765eQBVLLtyXeXUtsD6YA/s800/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: helvetica; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="800" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8IsRjGvEmtSojPH29c_mbctgIbV8APD8-zjB0mPDXUOaCn1UnlnHVA97tLygQ5l3x2fLqBmDOcvqmItz2UMDVr68orSYsz7gZXipVV4gWzfejFtL30FGyMY3OOarMVoWYQ8m9I5uyNo-O5hZqsucVEM9Smn8NTXp-GeXjb765eQBVLLtyXeXUtsD6YA/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">"Beneath our anxious quickenings, beneath our fanged fears, beneath the
rusted armors of conviction, tenderness is what we long for --
tenderness to salve our bruising contact with reality, to warm us awake
from the frozen stupor of near-living. Tenderness is what permeates
Platero and I (public library) by the Nobel-winning Spanish poet Juan
Ramon Jimenez (December 23, 1881-May 29, 1958) -- part love letter to
his beloved donkey, part journal of ecstatic delight in nature and
humanity, part fairy tale for the lonely." </span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Maria Popova shares more from
the Nobel-winning Spanish poet...</span></p>
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<a class="BSubButton" href="https://www.dailygood.org/story/3129/the-donkey-and-the-meaning-of-eternity-a-love-letter-to-life-maria-popova/" style="font-family: helvetica;">Read Article</a>
</div>The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-34436421758668200202023-07-24T12:18:00.004-04:002023-07-24T12:19:38.949-04:00A Broad Margin<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;">"To meander is a natural form of movement, uncontrived, unhurried. Rivers
and roving butterflies are adept at meandering. And we were too, once upon a
time before we developed a preference for traveling in straight lines,
perhaps because of Euclid, who told us a straight line is the shortest
distance between two points (for the record he was not entirely right about
this.) Regardless of length, a bend in the road will always be revelatory. A
straight path seldom holds any surprises. In other words efficiency and
epiphany do not typically travel together.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">By <a href="https://www.dailygood.org/search.php?op=auth&name=PAVITHRA%20MEHTA" target="_blank">Pavithra Mehta</a></span></p><hr />
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #212529;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #212529;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjC-dyj5-Pz0fdHsQ6j5Fbr_QDRKA4XTkbGEMHI88dDyD8SINgyap95seyOoa0iTxLiwquNlu2JDmJ0aklwHAZ417CSj7RchfeUtufMQvOMHDgkkiguPzz10OLBH1cfYrWW82vFw-0k57SGfRlF3_kFzHSWgiHal1TPK79lU8feLe1asZPebObgHELg/s360/Capture.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjC-dyj5-Pz0fdHsQ6j5Fbr_QDRKA4XTkbGEMHI88dDyD8SINgyap95seyOoa0iTxLiwquNlu2JDmJ0aklwHAZ417CSj7RchfeUtufMQvOMHDgkkiguPzz10OLBH1cfYrWW82vFw-0k57SGfRlF3_kFzHSWgiHal1TPK79lU8feLe1asZPebObgHELg/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #212529;">This is largely because efficiency deems as irrelevant, so much that
is important. For instance, the most efficient way to travel from
point A to point B will take into account toll booths, traffic patterns and
the time of day. Whether or not the wayside California buckeye tree is
currently in bloom will be deemed irrelevant. This is wildly ironic because
stumbling upon a California buckeye tree in full bloom can transport
you in an instant, but only if you aren’t trying to get somewhere.
Efficiency is always trying to get somewhere. This is why it does not
gallivant, daydream, linger, or lounge. Unlike Walt Whitman,
efficiency has never been known to ‘lean and loafe’ at its ease observing a
spear of summer grass– or a California buckeye tree in bloom. No. Efficiency
is ever-preoccupied in getting you from here to there. For it to work you
must be firmly tethered to space-time, not lifting veils, traversing realms
and hitchhiking with eternity (things liable to happen when meandering or
being Whitmanesque.)</span>
</span><p></p>
<p style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #212529; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0px; padding: 3px 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial;">
For most of our lives, whether we know it or not, we are shepherded along
by unconscious habits of efficiency and selective attention. This is why
passing a California buckeye tree in full bloom without noticing it is
shockingly easy to do. Like entirely missing the gorilla-suited
personage in the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo&ab_channel=DanielSimons" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #ee0979;">Invisible Gorilla Experiment</a>. While I am eminently okay with not catching sight of people in gorilla
suits who wander into my field of vision, I very do not want to miss the
sprawling California buckeye tree in late spring, waving its bright
five-fingered leaves like so many small hands, covered in fanciful, fragrant
wands– each an inflorescence up to eight inches long, studded with scores of
tiny white flowers, that burst out of faint pink buds, freckled with delicate
gold-tipped anthers, sweetly scented as white grape juice, intriguing from a
distance, dazzling up close. Nor do I want to miss it in summer, when it
preemptively drops its leaves in anticipation of thirst, a model of voluntary
simplicity, or in fall when its large, leathery, pear-shaped pods hang from
leafless branches, splitting open to reveal a lacquered seed that bears
a striking resemblance to the eye of a buck. And I certainly would be loath to
miss it in winter, when its silvery bark is laid bare, and the impressive mind
map of its branches rises into view, like a floating labyrinth, a lovely
skeleton, a slumbering legend.
</span></p>
<p style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #212529; margin-bottom: 1rem; margin-top: 0px; padding: 3px 0px;"><span style="font-family: arial;">
Now I am finally undoing the unconscious conventions that control
my attention, that push me towards chronic productivity. I am reclaiming
my peripheral vision, my wandering soul, my capacity for wonder. I am
realizing that what I thought were the footnotes of my life are actually where
the fruitful stories are being told. The text in the middle of the page almost
entirely misses the plot.
</span></p>
<p>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: #212529;">I am learning to love, like Thoreau, ‘</span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #212529;">a broad margin</em><span style="color: #212529;"> </span><em style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #212529;">to my life</em><span style="color: #212529;">.’ Priming myself for the buckeye, and all the beauty that lies just
beside-the-point, just around the bend in the road. </span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span>
</span></p>
<p><br /></p>
The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-24147528305755711272023-07-24T12:07:00.001-04:002023-07-24T12:07:21.635-04:00Jenny Odell: Another Kind of Time<p>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", Times, serif;"></span>
</p>
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</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"What songs are audible when the wind stops? What has been kept alive in the
time snatched from work and sheltered from ongoing destruction what moments of
recognition, what ways of relating, what other imagined worlds, what other
selves? What other kinds of time?" In this conversation, artist and writer Jenny
Odell points beyond the domination of clock time toward ways of being that are
more in tune with the rhythms and patterns of the Earth.
</span><p></p>
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-48093559359296194222023-07-22T09:22:00.005-04:002023-07-22T09:22:51.206-04:00Slowing Down in Urgent Times<p></p>
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</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
"To slow down in times of crisis--times that in so many ways require action on
all fronts--can seem counterintuitive. We are constantly met with pressures to
achieve more, act faster and be better. Dr. Bayo Akomolafe disagrees. Urgent
times, he urges, call for quiet; for rest and respite. Instead of ramping up, we
must surrender, and wait to witness the transformative potential of
stillness.
</span>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
Dr. Akomolafe is a writer, poet, teacher, and public intellectual, whose
groundbreaking philosophies draw on his roots with the Yoruba people to look
beyond perceived certainties and obfuscate binary thinking. The first step
toward emancipatory wholeness is finding comfort in the unknowable, and
embracing bewilderment and wonder. "In pursuing justice, we're reinforcing the
system we're trying to escape. In trying to climb out of the pits that we've
dug for ourselves, the pits become resilient. In trying to escape the prison,
the prison gains its form. So, in a very critical sense, we are in a crisis of
form," said Dr. Akomolafe. "We need trickster approaches, we need ways of
dancing away, or dancing to, fugitive spaces; dancing to sanctuaries where we
can shape-shift. Grieving, mourning, even allowing ourselves to partake in
pleasurable activities in the face of the storm."
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: arial;">
For the Wild founder Ayana Young speaks with Bayo Akomolofe on the generative
powers of stillness and fugitivity.
</span></p>
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-18916564023990342512023-07-22T09:18:00.005-04:002023-07-22T09:18:46.603-04:00Beannacht (Blessing) for Our Death<p></p>
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</div><span style="font-family: arial;">
Tracey Schmidt's poetic reading of a Blessing for Our Death reminds us of the
complexities of life - how we can be gatekeepers and entrance points, light
filled and vulnerable, lonely and loved, all at the same time. She praises life
and exhorts us to do the same, to "sing as if tomorrow will not come because one
day it will not." This singing of life's praises enables us to live fully, "as
if home were everywhere and you no longer a guest but a loved and welcome
member."
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The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7984083478982936067.post-52551764693393376682023-07-22T09:16:00.001-04:002023-07-22T09:16:04.056-04:00Michael Nye: Images & Voices on the Edge of Revelation<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUcwLcRTOcvla7s91MbaxpMcXeTTda9Oy26P1VVJDnQbpSoLqKVSpPO1i0twEe45gsQgWcgBD3syVuIJODIT01DE-MTAjPnSkk4WU9r-v5jNVjeZLT9KV4sACdW6bGINvHtWeQyT0qcCz62LZRuyHkUaYS9Qa_r1fizAWEX4CtlbBqreMJqVHZTgI_4A/s360/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: arial; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="313" data-original-width="360" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUcwLcRTOcvla7s91MbaxpMcXeTTda9Oy26P1VVJDnQbpSoLqKVSpPO1i0twEe45gsQgWcgBD3syVuIJODIT01DE-MTAjPnSkk4WU9r-v5jNVjeZLT9KV4sACdW6bGINvHtWeQyT0qcCz62LZRuyHkUaYS9Qa_r1fizAWEX4CtlbBqreMJqVHZTgI_4A/s320/Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">Wherever he travels, Michael Nye carries an antique 8x10 camera and a
voice recorder. He has been aptly described by National Public Radio as
"part reporter and part anthropologist". His projects have taken him to
Iraq during the first Gulf War, refugee camps in Palestine, as well as
Siberia, China, Morocco, and Mexico. His documentaries, photography and
audio exhibitions, "Children of Children -- Teenage Pregnancy," "Fine
Line -- Mental Health/Mental Illness," and "About Hunger &
Resilience" have traveled to more than 150 cities across the United
States. His newest exhibit is called "My Heart Is Not Blind -- About
Blindness and Perception," based on seven years of listening to men and
women who are blind and visually impaired. Michael explores how
perception and adaptation are deeper than we can imagine, and much more
mysterious. "How does anyone, blind or sighted understand the world
outside themselves?</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">These conversations focus on the deep and shifting
pools of perception and the mystery of transformation. Our other senses,
separate from sight, have their own wisdom."</span></p>
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</div>The World According to Joehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17334581311012143887noreply@blogger.com